Page 4 of A Heart Of Bitter Poison
“I’m right here, Lu,” she whispers, taking my hand.
Recent memories start to overtake the centuries-old images. Memories of the silver injection burning my voice away. Memories of Ashen descending the dais to embrace the resurrected soul of another woman. Memories of suffering and sickness, and the cage we now live in.
I hear footsteps and theclank, clank, clankof keys approaching from down the hall. I already know it’s the guards, coming to drag me to Gallus so he can hollow out more of my heart.
Stop fixing me, I sign, casting a weary gaze to Ediye. I should be afraid. I know what’s in store. I know what will come when the footsteps stop at the door. But I’m just too tired for fear anymore. I just want a promise from Ediye instead.
Stop fixing me, I sign again, but she shakes her head.
The key slots into the lock.
Stop fixing me, pleaseEdiye.
The hot, calloused hands of the guards grip my arms and pull me from Ediye’s lap. I land on the stone floor and slide toward the door between their unrelenting grip. They slam it shut behind us and drag me to my feet.
I give one last, pleading look to Ediye through the bars of our cage before they pull me into the dark.
And so begins another day as a prisoner of the Shadow Realm.
CHAPTER2
At first it was legit medical experimentation. Gallus is a multitalented torturer, after all. He does have some modicum of medical knowledge. He spent the first days of my captivity trying to find out what had already changed within me from Semyon’s injection, and what needed to be done to complete the transformation but with an edge of advantage for the Shadow Realm. I was sicker then, so I lucked out in a way. I don’t remember some of the incisions and blood draws and injections of random-ass shit. I was too busy seizing or passing out, or occasionally vomiting, which I tried to aim at Gallus but usually missed.Usually.
But for every moment that was hazy or dark, there are many more that are bright with glass-like clarity. There has been pain beyond measure. Loss beyond fathom. Rage beyond the fiercest, burning fire. And helplessness, bitter helplessness that has filled every crevice left behind by everything that’s been stolen.
Ember looked on those first few days with a gleam of delight in her eyes. She played nurse to my deranged doctor, passing him scalpels, subduing my limbs with silver shackles. With illness and rapidly waning strength, it’s not like I could fend her off. I did manage to spit in her face once, which was awesome as it was both bloody and stinking since they refuse to even give me a fucking toothbrush. She was not as delighted as I was.
Since they haven’t found anything in me that’s told them what their next steps should be, they started asking me questions, trying to ‘motivate’ me with pain. Maybe they should have thought of asking questions in return for… I dunno… blood. Or clean clothes. Or a hot shower. I might have answered them. Maybe. It’s not like I have much to tell them anyway. I don’t know what was in the witch serum, I don’t know what they were going to inject me with next back in Semyon’s lab. But I’m sure as shit not going to tell them a shred of anything that might help their cause now.
But now, there are no more questions. Ember never shows up to watch anymore. I think even she is too disgusted by my daily sessions here. It’s only me and Gallus. It’s only punishment for my crime. Maybe they think I’m a broken weapon that can't be salvaged. Maybe they’re just messing around until they find some way to complete my transformation, having their fun while they figure it out. It seems they only keep me alive to put me through this, day after day. And I think they will keep going until the end of time, just like the human myths of hell.
Ediye’s words from the first night I met Ashen ring in my mind as Gallus pries one of my fingernails free of my flesh with a pointed wooden skewer.
It will be a reaping worse than death.
She got that right.
We spend the next hour or so playing this little game, Gallus pulling nails, prying them off with sharpened wooden sticks that leave splinters in their wake, me screaming without sound, my heart breaking. Honestly, I think that’s the worst part. That’s what makes me cry the hardest. No matter how bad it hurts when he’s finally removed the last of my nails, all my fingers and toes bloody and throbbing, my heart hurts even more. It feels bitten with burning venom. It’s so hot with rage and loss and sorrow, so nearly void of any light.
The guards drag me back to our cell when Gallus is done with me. Dirt from the damp stone floor rubs into my raw toes where the nails should be and I try not to cry with the pain. I don’t want Ediye to see my despair as we draw close. I look up at the door and I can see her hands wrapped around the bars.
Ediye backs away as the guards open the lock and fling me inside the cell. I land hard on my side where recently cracked ribs still haven’t healed. I grip my torso with throbbing fingers and roll to my back. The lock clinks shut behind me and Ediye rushes to my side.
I can’t catch a break.Get it?I sign with a weak smile. Ediye’s not looking at my face though. Her eyes well with tears, her gaze caught on my bloody fingers.
“Oh my darling,” she whispers as she takes my hand and examines my fingertips. Her lips tremble. The smile crumbles from my face and I take a deep breath. My own lashes are wet and my eyes sting.
You have to stop fixing me,I sign.
“No.”
STOP, Ediye. Please.
Ediye shakes her head. Tears crest the boundaries of her eyes and coast across her ebony skin. “No, Lu. You have survived much worse. You’ve been burned to a lump of charcoal. You’ve had your voice stripped away. You’ve lived past that weird shapeshifter serum. You’ve made it through all that, and you will survive this too. I can fix you.”
How are you going to fix this, Ediye?I ask, showing her one of my fingernails I managed to swipe from the floor when Gallus released my shackles and pushed me off the exam table. I’m not sure what finger it belongs to, but I press it to the angry, bloody nail bed of my index finger anyway. It fuckinghurts. Ediye grimaces as she watches it slide in the blood and sebum to fall onto the floor. If I was a healthy vampire, I’d already be healing. But that doesn’t happen anymore.
Even if you could, I don’t want you to fix me anymore. I give her a long and weighty look. She leans in to hug me and I hold my breath, my throat burning hotter than ever with her closeness. I’m convinced this is part of my torture. The Reapers must be hoping I’ll cave and eat my best friend out of sheer desperation. Then I would be truly finished. My soul would be broken, and I would never recover.
