Page 87 of After the Siren
‘Yeah,’ Stavs said, breathless. ‘Yeah, you’re so ...’ He slid another finger in beside the first.
‘I’m so what?’ Jake asked. They were still holding hands.
‘You’re so fucking hot, it drives me crazy.’
People had said way dirtier shit to Jake in bed, told him how hot he was, what they wanted to do to him, but he couldn’t remember anyone ever saying something that had made him feel like this.
Stavs never really said much in bed, but now he was looking down at Jake, his eyes blown dark, his fingers inside Jake’s body, and Jake regretted doing this face to face. It was too much, too intense. He knew his face was revealing things that neither of them should be thinking about.
‘Stavs,please,’ he said, because he had to saysomething, and then Stavs had another finger inside him and he wasn’t going slow anymore, though he was still careful. He leaned down to catch Jake’s mouth in a hard, messy kiss, and Jake was trying to touch all of him at once: his shoulders, his back, his biceps. He needed him closer, needed more of him.
‘Condom?’ Stavs asked, pulling his fingers free, and Jake gasped at the loss. It took him a second to register the question.
‘In the drawer if you want. I’m on PrEP and I got tested after Kyle, so if you don’t want to ...’
Stavs hesitated. ‘I’m good, too, but are you sure ...’
‘Yeah,’ Jake said. ‘Yeah, I want it like that, justhurry up.’
They’d managed to knock the lube onto the bed, so there was a brief scramble to retrieve it. Jake ended up finding it first and slicked up Stavs’ dick while Stavs’ breathing went ragged.
Jake almost got on his hands and knees, almost chickened out of doing this face to face, but Stavs hadasked, and Stavs didn’t ask for much. So he let Stavs cover him with his body and reached down to help guide him in.
Stavs went slow, and Jake exhaled, letting his body relax into it. It was quite a lot to take. Stavs was breathing hard, holding himself back.
‘Are you okay?’ Stavs asked when his hips were flush against Jake’s body.
‘So okay. You?’
‘Nearlytoookay,’ Stavs said, in a voice that didn’t sound like his own. That made Jake laugh a little. It was nice to know he wasn’t the only one who was struggling to keep it together.
‘Don’t do that,’ Stavs gasped, which made Jake laugh again. ‘Fuckingmenace,’ Stavs said, and gave his hips an experimental roll.
Jake stopped laughing, then, and groaned instead as Stavs thrust again, still careful. He ran his hands down Jake’s ribs, gently, like Jake needed reassurance. Maybe he did, a little.
‘More,’ Jake said. Maybe a little sooner than he should have.
‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘Every second you’re not fucking me properly is hurting me.’
Stavs kissed him, and then he was moving, slowly at first, finding a rhythm. Jake let him work it out. It didn’t take him long to get it right, to find the angle that made Jake shudder and clutch at Stavs’ shoulders. Stavs had broken the kiss and was watching him. Jake closed his eyes because it was too much, but opened them again becausehewanted to see what Stavs’ face looked like while they did this.
‘You can go harder,’ he said, and hooked a foot in the small of Stavs’ back. ‘I want it, Stavs. Comeon. Use those stupid muscles andfuck me.’
Stavs took him at his word this time. He snapped his hips forward just right, and then neither of them was keeping it together. They were kissing again, frantic, Jake’s tongue in Stavs’ mouth and Stavs’ hands tangled Jake’s hair, and Stavs was going to have scratches down his back from Jake’s fingernails.
Jake reached for his own dick but Stavs knocked his hand away, instead pinning both Jake’s wrists above his head with one hand. Jake choked on a gasp.
‘That okay?’ Stavs asked, letting his grip loosen for a second.
‘So okay. So ... yes, okay.’
Stavs brought their mouths together again, kissed Jake hard and got his lube-slicked hand around Jake’s dick. Jake made a sound that came close to a whine, his legs tightening around Stavs’ back. He didn’t want to come, not yet, not before Stavs had, but it was too good, too much.
‘So close,’ Jake said against Stavs’ mouth, and then they were kissing again, Jake’s teeth on Stavs’ bottom lip. ‘Fuck, I’m gonna —fuck.’
He came hard, straining against Stavs’ grip on his wrists. He felt Stavs hesitate and he managed to say, ‘No, keepgoing, come on,’ and then Stavs was coming too, burying his face in Jake’s neck.
