Page 20 of After the Siren
Ryan won, at least, after Cunningham smacked a kick from the pocket into the post.
Theo tried to keep the satisfaction off his face as he grabbed a Gatorade and listened to the post-session feedback. He knew there’d be more coming for him. Kat didn’t seem to want to playhim as a forward, but he still needed to be able tokick a fucking goal.
He was fucking this up.
Sometimes it felt as though there was a schism between his body and his brain. His brain told him,You can do this, you’ve been doing this for years, Kat gets it, but all his body had now was muscle memory and anxiety. They were eight days into camp and maybe it was a bit better –maybe– but nobody was going to sit around and give Theo unlimited time to sort his shit out. He was supposed to be a professional.
He threw his empty bottle at the bin and missed.
Jake didn’t mean to walk back with Bestavros, but they ended up leaving the oval at the same time. Bestavros stalked next to him, silent, jaw set. If it had been anyone else, Jake would have said something reassuring. Sometimes you just had a shit day with the posts. But he didn’t think Bestavros would want to hear it, and he wasn’t in the mood to be told to get fucked. Or to be reminded that he ducked.
They got back to their room and Jake decided to make a strategic retreat. He grabbed a towel and a change of clothes – he was soaked with sweat – and headed for the door. He had to swerve around Bestavros to get there.
Bestavros rounded on him. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to make a pass at you.’
The fuck?‘What?’
Bestavros gestured to the room. ‘You think I haven’t noticed you’ve been avoiding the room ever since you overheard my phone conversation?’
Jake was rarely speechless. This did the job.
‘Being bi doesn’t mean I don’t have standards,’ Bestavros continued. He was scowling at Jake.
Jake wasn’t finding the animosity hot anymore. He felt weird. Like he was having the conversation and also watching it from somewhere overhead. He tried to keep his voice even. ‘I was trying to give you some space because you seem pretty pissed.’
Bestavros snorted. ‘Sure.’
Jake knew he should just leave. Bestavros was picking a fight. It wasn’t about Jake, it was just that Jake was here. Kyle had done that, sometimes. Bestavros had the yips in front of goal, in a major way, and he wanted to be pissed at someone other than himself.
Jake had always been a good target for that sort of anger.
He didn’t leave. Instead he leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms. ‘You think I have a problem with you being bi?’
‘You’ve been pretty absent for the last few days.’
‘Usually I don’t hang out with people who hate my guts.’
‘Sharing a room isn’t hanging out.’
It was almost funny how wrong Bestavros was. But what was Jake supposed to say?Ever since I found out you’re queer I’ve been thinking about what it would be like if we fucked? Bestavros would probably punch him in the face. Bestavros had ‘standards’, after all.
‘I don’t have a problem with you being bi.’
‘Why would I believe that?’
The anger hit Jake in a sudden rush of heat. He wasdone. He was sick of every shitty journalist and random fan, and now apparently hisqueer teammate, making assumptions about him. The words were out before he could stop them. ‘Because I’m gay, you asshole.’
Theo’s stomach clenched. ‘That’s not funny.’ It was low, even for Cunningham. Although Cunningham didn’t look as thoughhe was joking. There was no sign of his usual lazy smile. No mischief in the curve of his mouth. He was looking at Theo like he wanted to throw down.
‘I’m not joking.’ He held Theo’s gaze.
Shit.‘That’s ... don’t do that.’ Theo felt like his heart was in the back of his throat. Some part of him was screaming at him to shut his mouth. That he’d radically, irreparably misjudged the situation. ‘Stop fucking around.’
‘What, need me to suck your dick to prove it?’ Cunningham’s voice was different, too. Clipped and a little mean.
Cunningham wasfurious, Theo realised. He felt a bit nauseated. Was Cunningham actually —
‘Um, no?’ he said.Why the fuck had that come out like a question.‘I mean ...’
