Page 101 of After the Siren
Jake looked up, then. His eyes were very blue. ‘What?’
‘I asked you if you’d want more if we weren’t teammates. But I didn’t just ask what you wanted.’
Jake put the spoon down. ‘What do you mean?’ he said.
‘What would you have said, if I’d just asked what you wanted?’
He looked away. ‘I would’ve said I don’t wanna be the person who ruins this for you.’
‘You know that’s not what I mean.’
‘It’s true.’ Jake still wouldn’t look at him. ‘I know how important this year is to you.’
‘Okay, answer this, then. Do you want to be with me?’
Jake closed his eyes. ‘That’s not fair. You already know the answer.’
Theo reached out to take Jake’s hand. ‘Tell me.’
Jake looked at him, and that made Theo’s throat tighten. With hope, maybe. ‘Yeah, I do. But I know —’
Theo tangled their fingers together. ‘I want that too.’
‘But we said —’
‘I know what we said. We were wrong. Or I was, at least. I know it’s a risk. It could go wrong. But it also might not, and I don’t want to throw away something good because there’s a riskof something bad happening in the future. I mean, if you don’t want anything serious —’ he stopped, because Jake was shaking his head.
‘I do,’ he said. ‘Want something serious.’ He was still looking at Theo intently, like he couldn’t quite believe the words coming out of Theo’s mouth. ‘If you do.’
‘I do.’
‘Stavs, are you sure I’m ... are you sure it’s worth it?’
‘You’re worth it,’ Theo told him.
Jake smiled, then, grey with exhaustion and sporting a blossoming black eye. That smile was the best thing Theo had ever seen.
‘C’mere,’ he said, tugging at Theo’s hand.
Theo tipped his head towards the bowl. ‘Not until you eat some more of your soup.’
Jake narrowed his eyes. ‘I’ll have some more of the soup if you come here.’
They reached a compromise, whereby Theo got onto the bed and wrapped an arm around Jake, but Jake continued to eat until most of the soup was gone. He put the bowl aside, then sat up and turned to straddle Theo’s lap. Theo put his hands on Jake’s hips.
‘So, to recap,’ Jake said, his smile shifting into a grin. ‘Youlikeme.’
Theo tightened his grip on Jake’s hips. ‘I’m not thirteen years old.’
‘I get it,’ Jake said, his hands settling on Theo’s shoulders. ‘I’m pretty great.’
‘You’re insufferable,’ Theo told him.
It was hard to sound convincing with Jake in his lap, smiling at him like that. Jake tucked his cheek against Theo’s shoulder and sighed.
‘You’re just going to leave me hanging?’ Theo said against his hair.
‘Don’t worry.’ Jake’s breath was warm against Theo’s neck. ‘I’ll be your boyfriend if you ask nicely.’
