Page 95 of After the Siren
Theo dropped a spoonful of koshari back into his bowl in shock. ‘You’ve been following my games?’
‘I haven’t watched them,’ she said, as though he might be mad about it. ‘I just can’t understand them. But Rohan – one of the partners – is a big AFL fan, and he’s been giving me summaries.’ She sighed, nudging her koshari around the bowl. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been around more. I knew you were having a rough time when you got here, but it seemed like it was getting better, and I’ve been a bit consumed by work. It’s not an excuse, but there it is.’
‘It’s okay. I know I could have asked if I needed anything. Also, I’m living in your house for free.’
‘I’m not sure youhavebeen living here for the last few weeks.’ She raised an eyebrow at him.
‘I was seeing someone,’ Theo admitted, fortified by the food. ‘I really liked ... them.’
‘And they broke it off?’
‘No, it was ... mutual, I guess.’
Eva was studying him in a way that reminded him a lot of Priya. ‘Do you want me to ignore the pronoun, or do you want me to ask about it? Just for the record, you know you’re still going to be my favourite little brother, no matter who you’re dating.’
He knew she wouldn’t ask if he told her not to. And maybe that was why he suddenly wanted to tell her. He took a deep breath.
‘Hewas an athlete as well, and he didn’t want to come out. I don’t know if I do, either. At least not publicly. We decided to call it quits before it got messier.’
‘Oh,’ she said, her eyes widening. ‘I’m really sorry. I can see how that would make things complicated.’
‘Yeah.’
‘It seemed like he made you happy.’
‘He did.’ Ithurt, knowing that she’d noticed. ‘But I can’t do anything to risk this year, you know? I’m not going to get another opportunity like this. I can’t do anything to jeopardise it.’
She nodded. ‘I get it.’ He knew she’d been dumped before by men who hadn’t liked the hours she worked. She’d been absolutely single-minded in pursuit of her career. He wanted to ask if she thought it was worth it.
‘He got it, too.’
‘Was he ... Did you know you were interested in men? Before him?’
‘I’ve known I was bi since I was about fifteen. But he was the first guy I’ve dated.’
She nodded. ‘I’m sorry if you didn’t feel like you could tell me you’re bi. Priya knows, right? You could talk to her about it?’
‘Yeah, she knows. And it wasn’t that I didn’t feel like I could tell you – I didn’t want to tell Ommi and Abi, and I didn’t want to ask you to keep it secret from them. Then I was with Rachel,then Sarah, and it didn’t seem to matter. I always figured I’d say something if things got serious with a guy.’
‘I really don’t think you need to worry about them reacting badly.’
Deep down, he knew she was right. His extended family might not be accepting, but his parents had been in left-wing academic circles for years as they’d moved from practice into teaching. They went through the motions to stay connected to their culture, but they weren’t socially conservative. At least, not about queerness. That wasn’t really the problem.
‘It’ll be another reason I shouldn’t be playing footy though, right? Not only is it not a real job, but I’d be one of the first out queer players – assuming I did come out.’ He sighed. ‘I’m just ... I don’t want to deal with it.’
‘That’s fair. You know I won’t say anything to them.’
‘I know.’
She tilted her head towards their food. ‘Speaking of things our parents wouldn’t approve of, we could eat the rest of dinner on the couch?’
He gave her a scandalised look. ‘Eva.Theidea.’
She gathered up her bowl and the platter with the dips. ‘Come on.’
‘We really don’t have to watchPoirot. How about ...’ Theo considered. ‘We could properly go back to childhood and watchThe Road to El-Dorado.’
‘Done,’ Eva said. She paused. ‘Actually, I think I might be starting to understand why you watched that movie so many times. AlsoHercules.’
