Page 89 of After the Siren
Jake sighed and pulled his legs up, wrapping his arms around his knees. ‘I think it kinda all ends up in a press release. But not all at once ... like, maybe I tell the team first, and then even if I don’t say anything publicly, I just stop being careful.’
Debbie made ammnoise. ‘I see.’
‘You don’t think it’s a good idea.’
She looked across at him, frowning. ‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You didn’t say Ishoulddo it, either.’
She sighed and took a sip of coffee. ‘I’m not going to tell you what I think you should do,’ she said. ‘This one’s only for you.’
He rested his chin on his knees. ‘I know.’
‘It’s not that I don’t think you should do it,’ she said, as they watched a group of pelicans wing their way around the headland. ‘It’s just that sometimes I feel like these days it’s all aboutcoming out. Announcing it, labelling it. I don’t want you to feel like you have to.’
‘I just wanna be able to be open about it. Go on a date, whatever.’
‘You didn’t feel that way a few months ago.’
He’d told her about Kyle’s ultimatum, of course. She’d given him a hug, gotten the ingredients for chicken soup (her remedy for all ills), and then taken him on an extra-long walk.
He shrugged. ‘Yeah, I dunno. I guess I said that stuff about AFLW and I got shit for it. But I also got lots of nice messages. It meant something to people. I don’t want to be some ambassador for queer AFL players, but I’m also sick of keeping it a secret. Maybe I tell the team, and then if people find out they find out.’
‘And Theo?’
Jake tilted his head back. ‘We haven’t really talked about it. I don’t know how he’d feel about it. I know he’d be supportive, but ...’But it might end things.It was one thing for them to be hooking up in sort of secret, another to be doing that if Jake was out. Another thing altogether todate.
‘You like him a lot.’
Jake blew out a breath. ‘Yeah.’
‘It’s mutual.’
Jake shrugged. He thought so too, but. ‘And complicated.’
‘Why?’
Jake gave her a look. It was a question his mum only really asked when she already knew the answer but wanted Jake to talk something through. ‘We’re teammates. We’re both closeted. His family don’t know he’s queer. Coming out to the team is one thing. Being in a ... whatever with a teammate is another.’
‘You’ve been around the women’s game enough to know that teammates can date.’ She grinned. ‘I like the way he looks at you. Lydia says he’s a good boy, but nottoogood.’
‘Yeah.’ Jake tried not to grin too broadly.
‘I think whatever happens, you two would work it out. If it’s romantic, or if he’s a friend.’
‘You’ve known him for twenty-four hours,’ Jake pointed out. Not because she was wrong.
‘I’m a good judge of character,’ she said. ‘I never liked Kyle.’
‘That’s because he called you Mrs Cunningham.’
‘Maybe.’
They finished their coffee and watched the sun rise. Jake had always loved a winter sunrise. They picked their way back down the track in silence. Debbie even consented to lean on Jake’s arm on one of the steeper parts.
‘Look who’s up,’ Debbie said as they got back to the stretch of grass that led back towards the house.
Stavs was walking towards them, his hands shoved into the pockets of a puffer, following the trail of their footprints.
