Page 28 of After the Siren
‘Yup.’ Cunningham popped the ‘p’. ‘I’m fine,’ he said, looking about as far from fine as it was possible for a person to be. ‘I’ll meet you out there.’
It was the out Theo needed. He could leave, head to the oval, and they would never have to acknowledge this had happened. But also, something was wrong.Reallywrong, maybe.
Theo didn’t move any closer, but he didn’t leave either. ‘Did you need ...’ he started.
Cunningham let out a slow breath. It shook. His eyes looked even bluer than usual. ‘You don’t have to pretend to give a fuck,’ he said, without rancour. He sounded exhausted. There were purple marks like bruises under his eyes. Had he slept? ‘I just need a sec. Like I said, I’ll meet you out there.’
It was definitely none of Theo’s business. He should leave.
‘Fuck,’ Cunningham said, curling in on himself a little more, his shoulders shaking.
Theo almost turned away – he was intruding. Then Cunningham sobbed, just once. A harsh, animal sound of real grief that hooked under Theo’s ribs.
He crossed the room and dropped to his knees in front of Cunningham. Cunningham looked up, startled.
‘Okay,’ Theo said. ‘I know you’d probably rather this was anyone but me, but I’m not just going to leave you here.’
Cunningham looked at him. ‘I don’t want to talk to you about this,’ he said, quietly, as though he was talking to himself.
‘You don’t have to. I know you think I’m an asshole, but I’m not leaving you alone when you’re this upset. Do you need me to tell Davo that you’re sick? Do you need me to call Xenos or Riley?’ Although presumably Cunningham could have talked to one of them before he left the house. ‘Yelks?’
‘No,’ Cunningham said, with conviction. ‘I’ll get it together.’
‘Okay,’ Theo said again. God, this was awkward. ‘Um,’ he started.
Cunningham’s eyes met his, and then Cunningham started to laugh. There was an edge of hysteria to it, but it made Theo laugh as well, and then he couldn’t stop. He grabbed the bench to keep himself upright (and so he didn’t grab Cunningham’s thigh). Cunningham got himself under control and scrubbed at his face. Theo leaned across to pull a towel out of his own locker and handed it to him.
‘Thanks,’ Cunningham said. ‘Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be in here. Xen and Paddy were up stupid early to get ready to go hiking and they would have noticed if I’d ... lost my shit,’ he finished.
‘I’m sorry I walked in.’
‘Yeah, I’ll bet.’
‘I mean, if you wanted privacy.’
Cunningham bit his lip. ‘I don’t know what I want. But thanks.’
‘For what?’
‘Giving a shit? Or giving me a towel, at least.’
‘No problem.’ Theo levered himself up and sat down on the bench next to Cunningham. Not close enough that their thighs were touching, but closer than he would have a couple of days ago. ‘You sure I can’t get you anything?’
‘Yeah.’
They sat in silence for a few moments, Cunningham’s breathing getting steadier, even though there were fresh tears sliding down his cheeks. Theo put a hand on his shoulder before he could second-guess himself.
Cunningham sighed, leaning into the touch a little.
‘My mum has cancer,’ he said, staring at the wall across from them. ‘She had it, it went away, it came back. It probably won’t go away again.’
Jesus.Theo didn’t know what to say.
Cunningham was still staring at a spot on the wall. ‘I was supposed to be home yesterday for the telehealth appointment she had with her oncologist.’
‘I’m sorry.’ That seemed very inadequate.
Cunningham rested his head against the side of his locker. ‘The news ... anyway, you don’t need to hear about it. But I didn’t sleep much.’
