Page 22 of After the Siren
‘The interview.’
‘What about it?’
‘You sat there and said I didn’t have what it takes.’
Cunningham looked like he had to think about it before he remembered what he’d said, which was in itself infuriating. Theo had thought about it every day since, and Cunningham hadforgotten.
‘I think I saidsome peopledon’t have what it takes.’
‘Oh, sure, you definitely didn’t mean me.’
Cunningham looked almost confused. ‘What did you want me to say? Was I supposed to pretend you didn’t choke?’ There was an edge back in his voice that Theo couldn’t place. Laughter, maybe.
Theo couldn’t catch his breath. He didn’t want to be here, having this conversation.
‘I —’I wanted someone to tell me it was okay. I wanted someone to say it happens to everyone. I wanted someone likeyouto understand.
‘Sorry I hurt your feelings,’ Cunningham said. He didn’t sound sorry at all.
‘Fuck off.’
‘I was trying to do that.’
‘For the record, if someone accidentally outs themselves, it’s probably best not to act like you’re going to catch cooties from them.’
‘For the record,’ Cunningham said, ‘when you bag someone out and they overhear it, they might try and keep out of your way.’
‘Like you give a shit what I think of you.’
‘I give a shit about this team.’ Cunningham’s blue eyes were locked with Theo’s. ‘I get you were pissed at me for going on that show. And maybe I should have talked to you and cleared the air or whatever when you got here. But I’m not the reason you choke every time you see a goal post, and my problem with you isn’t that you’re bi.’
‘Look,’ Theo started. He might have been about to apologise. ‘I —’
‘Fucking save it,’ Cunningham said. He slammed the door behind him.
Jake was out on the oval when Paddy found him. There was always a bucket or two of balls for anyone who wanted to practise. Jake was channelling his anger into taking shots at goal from increasingly tricky positions, jogging in to collect the balls whenever the buckets were empty. He wasn’t kicking particularlywell, but the thud of his boot against the ball was making him feel a lot better, and it beat punching a wall. Or slamming Bestavros into one.
‘So,’ Paddy said, coming to stand beside him while he lined up a kick. ‘Did you suck Stavsy’s dick?’
Jake ignored the question and took the kick. The ball ricocheted off the point post and Paddy caught it. Jake grabbed another ball. He got it through this time, but now he felt a bit pathetic. Like a kid having a tantrum.
Paddy flopped down on the grass beside him, unperturbed. ‘Yeah, I guess not. You’d be happier if you had.’
‘Fuck off,’ Jake griped half-heartedly, lowering himself to the ground too. He didn’t like being alone with his feelings. And, unlike Xen, Paddy probably wouldn’t try to make him talk about them.
‘You gonna tell me what’s going on?’
I’ve fucked up my life badly enough that my boyfriend dumped me for being closeted and the new queer player on the team assumed I was a massive bigot.
‘Nothing’s going on.’
‘Are you sure? The two of you are going to have to play nice this season, and you’re not looking super friendly.’
‘Like he’s going to make it out of the twos.’
Paddy gave him a look. He tucked one foot up against his thigh and leaned down towards the other one. He wasn’t as bendy as Bestavros. ‘Come on, bro. What the fuck was that? You’re the one who called me in and just sprang dick sucking on me.’
‘Thought you liked that.’
