Page 76 of Follow My Voice
We stare into each other’s eyes for a second that feels endless. My gaze drops to his mouth and, for the first time in my life, I’m curious about how it would feel to lean in and press my lips against someone else’s, especially ones that look so soft and moist. I shake my head and turn to look out at the snow.
Kang takes me by surprise with his next question, almost as if he was reading where my thoughts had gone. “First kiss?”
I swallow and bite the inside of my cheek without looking at him. “I haven’t had a boyfriend, so…” I leave the answer hanging in the air.
I feel Kang’s cold hand on my chin, turning my face back toward him. The moment our eyes meet, my breath hitches.
“I can’t believe these beautiful lips have never been kissed.” His thumb softly caresses my lips.
I don’t know what to say. I can’t even move. I appreciate what he just said to me, but I also feel a little annoyed: Friends don’tsay things like that to each other. Friends don’t gently caress each other’s faces. I’ve accepted that Kang only wants to help me and I’m trying to stop looking for romantic undertones in everything he says, but now he’s getting my hopes up, saying things that can be misinterpreted. That leads me to wonder if he behaved this way with Perla, because that would explain why she got confused. I put my hand over his and slowly move it away from my face.
He looks hurt.
“Kang…” I begin, knowing I can’t go on like this much longer, “I know that… you like to help people like me. Perla told me about it…”
Kang tenses.
“I want to thank you. You use your radio show to help people.” I take his hand in mine. “Thank you so much for everything you do; I feel lucky to have your friendship. And… I know you probably want to help me with my self-esteem, but you don’t have to take it so far.”
Kang shakes his head, looking extremely confused. “What are you talking about?”
“You don’t have to call me gorgeous, or tell me that my lips are beautiful, or touch my cheek to make feel better about myself. I know you’re just trying to help me and, well, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it’s confusing to me… I’m fine, promise.”
Kang frowns and releases his hand from between mine, standing up. I stand up, too. “You think I said those things just because I want to help you?”
“Didn’t you?”
He runs a hand through his hair, his back to me.
“Kang, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want to avoid misunderstandings. Perla told me…”
“Perla? What does she have to do with us?” He turns to me, waiting for an answer.
Us.
“She’s my friend and she told me that she mistook your kindness for something more and she fell for you…” I say, plucking up my courage. “I don’t want the same thing to happen to me.”
“Do you think this is how I talk to everyone? You think I go through life messing with girls’ heads, misleading them and then rejecting them? Is that what you think of me?”
“Kang…”
“Wow…” He turns his back to me again, his head in his hands.
I don’t understand why he’s so angry. More than angry, he seems hurt. He spins around and closes the distance between us in two strides. I step back, pressing my body against the house. Kang puts his hands on the wall on either side of me. I’m hemmed in by his arms.
He wets his lips before speaking, his black eyes sparkling. “No, Klara, I’ve never said things like this to anyone else.” He leans closer, and I feel my breath catch. “I’ve helped plenty of people, some of them girls; I’ve talked to them through my radio show. Perla was the only one I’d texted with before, and that was because there were things she couldn’t write into the show about, but I’ve never”—his voice sounds cold and serious—“I’ve never gotten as close with anyone as I have with you. If I call you gorgeous, it’s because you are goddamn gorgeous; if I say that I like your smile, it’s because it takes my breath away and makes my heart pound; and if I tell you that you have beautiful lips, it’s because, the whole time we’ve been on this balcony, I’ve been dying to taste them.”
Did I hear that right? My mind is spinning, trying to process what Kang just said.
Kang is so close I can feel the heat of his body against mine. His eyes rest on my lips and the longing in them is evident. He leans slowly toward me, as if he fears I’m going to push him away, but when I don’t, he keeps inching forward. I shut my eyes, feeling my heart in my throat.
And then his lips are on mine.
I tense and clench my fists at my sides. His lips are as soft as I imagined they would be. I don’t know what to do; I’ve never kissed anyone before and none of the TV dramas I’ve watched have prepared me for this. I let him take control. He begins to move his lips against mine and I awkwardly try to keep up. Kang leans his body against me, pressing my back to the wall as he tilts his head, kissing me so gently that a quiet ache stirs beneath my skin. Maybe I’m not kissing him back in the most expert way, but just having his lips on mine is enough to make me feel like I’m on cloud nine. I take his face in my hands and feel his smooth skin, something I’ve wanted to do ever since I met him.
Kang leans back and my breathing races erratically. I stand with my eyes closed for a few seconds, then open them to see Kang’s black eyes glowing out from the darkness. He smiles, dimples in his cheeks.
His voice is deep, full of emotion as he asks, “First kiss?”
