Page 65 of Follow My Voice
“Thanks,” I whisper.
I study the serene expression on his handsome face.
I like you so much, Kang. You were the first person to make me feel again after a long period of emotional emptiness. I’m so sorry I mistook your kindness for love, but it’s hard not to when your crush offers you a little attention.
I feel a lump in my throat and I look down at the tickets. “Thank you, I’ll invite my friends.”
“Great.” Kang steps in front of me and walks backward to continue talking while looking at me. “Will you cheer for me when I get out on the field?”
I feign a smile. “Of course.”
“Great. I have to go,” he says. “See you later, Klara with a K.”
“See you later, Kang.”
I watch him turn around and walk away until he disappears inside a building. I curse my eyes for filling with tears.
So this is what it feels like? I’ve read so many stories about love and heartbreak, but for the first time in my life I feel the pain firsthand.
The pain of a broken heart.
28Calm Me
“GO PANTHERS! GOPanthers! Go Panthers!”
I stand on the bleachers, frowning through the loud chanting all around me. Needless to say, everyone is excited about tonight’s game and the possibility of advancing to the finals. The white lights of the soccer field glow in the semidarkness of the dusky orange sky. Sports have never been my thing; I was more of the type to stay after school in the art room reading a book on painting techniques. Then when my mother got sick, I was focused on her, and later on my own health, when it was my turn to be sick. So I’ve never been drawn to sports and I have to admit I don’t understand most of them, not even soccer. But I’m grateful for the existence of Google and its simplified explanations: two teams, one ball, put the ball in the opposing team’s goal to score points. Simple.Thank you, Google.
To my right, Perla sticks two fingers in her mouth and whistles so loudly that I have to cover my ears. Where did she learn to whistle like that? To my left, Diego is busy chatting with a girl on the other side of him. I envy his confidence and his ability to talk to anyone.
I can’t deny how strange it feels to be here. This is the first time I’ve been in a place with so many people. I don’t even know why I came. Maybe I wanted to venture out of my safety zone; crowds are something I’ve avoided for a long time. And the truth is, here, in the stands, surrounded by so many people, I’m uncomfortable, but Perla and Diego assured me we could leave the moment I felt I could no longer handle it.
The cheerleaders take to the field and whip up the crowd with their pom-poms and black and blue uniforms. They look peppy and pretty, all made up with their hair pulled back. I hear Perla sigh and I look at her. Her eyes are full of sadness and longing as she watches the cheerleaders.
Finally, they leave the field, the crowd quiets down, and my ears get a break. We sit and I turn to Perla. “Are you okay?”
She nods, pursing her lips slightly. “I always wanted to be a cheerleader.”
“Oh, then why are you up here and not out there?”
“The world of cheerleading is not ready to accept my kind of beauty.” Perla looks at me and shrugs. “Being thin is still a requirement to make the squad.”
“Says who?”
“No one comes out and says it, but when I tried out in high school, they gave me excuses like I wasn’t flexible, I wasn’t motivated enough.” She snorts and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. “At least they didn’t just come right out and say I was too fat.”
“That’s terrible. I’m sorry.”
“No biggie. I’ve learned that my particular brand of beauty is just too much for many people to take, but they’ll have to get used to it.”
“Your brand of beauty?”
“There is beauty in all of us, Klara. The problem isn’t that we come into the world with different faces or bodies. It’s not about what we have or don’t. The problem is manmade beauty standards;when someone deviates from those standards, they’re made to believe that they’re hideous. But that’s not true, because we all have our own particular beauty. We’re all created different.”
“I like the way you see things.” I take Perla’s hand. “It’s very encouraging.”
She squeezes my hand. “I think we might be soulmates, Klara.”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait…” says Diego, and I lean back so that Perla can see him, too. “Soulmates? Moving a little fast, don’t you think, Perla? Remember, Klara declared her undying love for me and I rejected her.”
