Page 53 of Follow My Voice
“I’ll let you sleep. Talk tomorrow?” he says softly.
“Talk tomorrow, Kang.”
“Goodnight, gorgeous.”
He hangs up and my heart skips a beat at that last word. Kang just called me “gorgeous.” I must be hallucinating. And even though I want to know why he was upset with me, I can’t help but fall asleep with a smile on my lips. I’m so tired after this long, normal day.
23Touch Me
EVERY STEP Itake is slow and measured as I observe the hallway filled with college students chatting in groups or absorbed by their phones. I wonder if they’re at all aware how lucky they are to be young and healthy, to not have to worry about their health every day.
Fear of death continues to fuel my anxiety, but I’ve reached a point of calm; after everything I’ve been through, I feel that I am able to have a different perspective on life and empathize with others more readily. Surviving cancer has given me skills that I would never have gained if I’d lived a normal life.
I am Klara, the girl who lost her mother to cancer and couldn’t even mourn her loss because she immediately began fighting her own battle with the disease. The girl who has suffered from anxiety, depression, panic attacks, agoraphobia, and low self-esteem. The girl who smiles to herself now in a crowded hallway because she has won a small battle and is fighting to live life and enjoy it to the best of her abilities. The mere fact that I was able to leave the house today without going over all the negative things that could happen to me, that I was able to focus on the feeling of the morning breeze on my skin, is an accomplishment.
As I enter the classroom, I freeze in the doorway. The two guys who are always together, Ben and Adrian, are standing in the corner. Ben rests his hand on the wall above Adrian’s shoulder, cornering him. Adrian sees me and goes red. Uh-oh. I consider turning around to give them privacy, but they quickly step apart.
“Hey…” Adrian says, scratching his head. “What’s your name? I can’t remember.”
“Klara,” I say as I walk to my seat.
“Klara, I’m Adrian and this is Ben.”
Ben doesn’t even look at me.
I know; I’ve been cheering them on from afar. They make a cute couple. “Nice to meet you guys.”
Adrian smiles. “We were just messing around.”
I nod.
Emma, the redhead, enters, chewing gum as usual, and behind her Perla appears with dark circles under her eyes. She sits down next to me, sighing. She turns to meet my gaze. “I know, I look like death warmed over.”
“Actually, I was just going to say hi.” I wave with a smile. “Hi, Perla.”
She laughs. “You look…” Perla searches for the word. “Less pale.”
“I feel good today.”
“I’m glad. Any specific reason?”
“No.”
Perla raises an eyebrow. “You are very strange, do you know that, Klara? In a good way.”
“Thank you.”
The classroom quickly fills up and Diego comes in, greeting everyone in his overly loud voice. “Here I am, you don’t have to miss me anymore,” he shouts as he slides across the floor in front of the whole class.
Perla rolls her eyes.
Diego winks at me and I smile. I feel bad for avoiding him for so long. I’m not perfect, but I will try to learn from my mistakes. I plan to apologize for openly ignoring him before. I realize now that I’ve had my guard up because I was afraid people would reject me.
Diego sits down in front of me, and Perla again raises an eyebrow. This is not his usual seat. I know it will be impossible not to engage with him.
Diego turns around in his chair to look at me. “Hoodie.”
“Are you going to call me that forever?” I joke.
