Page 4 of Follow My Voice
For you…
these sweet words for no reason,
life doesn’t matter at all
or how high you might fall
No…
It’s not enough, not today, not tomorrow,
having you only in my mind.
I want more, much more of you.
As I listen to the chorus, my finger hovers over the Instagram app, trembling. I have an old account that I haven’t checked in over a year. I don’t know if it’s because of what Kang said about Liliana or because of the song that’s playing, but I feel suddenly curious. The second part of the song hits me even harder.
What if my emotions explode?
If my feelings take over,
and I can’t hold back anymore.
What if I lose control?
Because of you…
For you…
these sweet words for no reason,
life doesn’t matter at all
or how high you might fall. No…
It’s not enough, not today, not tomorrow,
having you only in my mind.
I want more, so much more of you.
My mind made up, I open Instagram and search forFollow My Voicebefore I have time to regret it.
3Look at Me
I SPENT MOSTof Friday readingPride and Prejudice. It’s my third time reading it—what can I say, I’m a cliché when it comes to Jane Austen. The pages are tearing at some corners because it’s an old book—it was a library book before it was donated to a big book warehouse sale. Mom used to hunt those down to take me; we could get so many books for just a few bucks. It was one of our things. I loved those days; even in the heat of summer when those warehouses were too hot, I was happy. In a way, all the old books around my room carry a story, a memory of a happy day with my mother in a random warehouse. She’s here with me, in these books, in these walls. I’m safe here, and only here.
“Time to eat!” Kamila yells from the hallway, and I sigh before heading out of my room.
The clinking of silverware echoes through the dining room as I sit at the table with Kamila and Andy. I force myself to eat. I’m not hungry, but I know I still need to put on weight and, based on the way my sister is looking at me, she’s not going to let me skip a meal. I glance at the clock and I start eating faster; it’s almost time for my show.
Andy notices my anxiety. “You still have twenty minutes before it starts, don’t worry.”
My sister takes a sip of juice. “I’m glad you found that show you like so much, but have you thought about looking for other things you might like to do as well?”
Andy shoots her a disapproving look, and she lobs one right back at him. “What? I don’t want her focusing on just one thing when there are so many other activities out there that I know she’d enjoy. Have you thought at all about getting back into painting again?”
I grip the spoon. I’ve completely lost my appetite. “No.”
