Page 42 of Follow My Voice
Me:No, it’s not like that. I want to meet you, too.
Kang:I’m right here, Klara, within reach.
Me:It’s just unexpected, Kang, that’s all.
Kang:You never intended for us to meet in person, did you?
He’s right, but not for the reasons he thinks. I stare at the screen, unsure how to respond, but Kang sends another text before I have the chance.
Kang:It’s crystal clear. Don’t worry. I won’t bother you anymore.
I feel a tightness in my chest. His words sound like a goodbye and I don’t want that, but I also don’t know if I’m ready to let him see me. I’ve handled starting college pretty well, but I’m not sure I’m prepared to deal with much more than that right now.
As I’m contemplating what to do, I hear footsteps and see Kang and Erick coming down my way, toward the exit.
“Let’s sit somewhere else—I’m over this bullshit,” Kang says as they walk past me without even looking in my direction.
His words are so cold they burn. He sounds angry, and I understand. I replay what he said in my mind:“I can’t believe I found you. You don’t know how many times I’ve imagined seeing you, pictured your expressions. I’ve been dying to put a face to your name, Klara with a K—the girl I haven’t stopped thinking about since the first time I talked to her.”He seemed so excited and now he’s so disappointed that I didn’t react the way he expected, that I don’t seem as interested in him as he is in me.
I am, Kang, but I don’t know how to prove it to you without agreeing to meet.
I know that if Kang knew my situation, what I’ve been through, he would understand my reluctance. But I haven’t told him, so of course he feels rejected.
I look down the hall and see that he and Erick have stopped at the end.
You have to face him, Klara. Once he meets you, he’ll understand that you’re not good enough for him and he’ll move on. It’ll be better that way. It will hurt, but you can handle the pain; you’ve been through worse.
I stand up and walk to the opposite side to where Kang just sat down. I follow the campus map I received on day one and head to the door that connects to the Harold Collins Building, then stop outside the auditorium. With my back against the wall, I take out my phone and, before I have a chance to regret it, I text Kang.
Me:Come to the auditorium.
I’m shaking. I slip my phone back in my pocket and try to slow my breathing. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, but I can’t let Kang think that I don’t care about him at all. It’s better to get it over with, to just let him meet me and be disappointed.
A couple minutes later, Kang appears, standing a few feet away from me, and I stop breathing. His black eyes meet mine as he walks toward me with his hands in his pockets. His expression is neutral as he stops in front of me, openly searching my face. I want to say something, but no words come. Kang is here, standing in front of me, and suddenly I remember all the times I’ve heard him on the radio. His usual greeting:“Good evening, folks. This is Kang, your friend and companion for this evening’s radio program,Follow My Voice.”I remember the sound of his laughter, his messages, his voice, the entire journey that has brought us together in this moment.
“Hello,” I murmur, so softly that I doubt he can hear me.
Kang smiles and those dimples appear on his cheeks. “Hello, Klara.”
20Smile at Me
MY POOR HEARTbeats as desperately as if I’ve just run a marathon and I silently thank it for not failing me in this moment. I don’t say a word as Kang stares at me, putting a face to the voice he’s been talking to all this time.
I would like to say that his expression reveals some hint of what he thinks, but his dazzling smile doesn’t falter for an instant. Unable to stand the intensity of his gaze any longer, I look down at his black shirt with the mascot and blue lettering that readsDURHAM COMMUNITY COLLEGE. I notice his biceps, more defined than I remember from the last time I saw him, however fleetingly. At first glance he seemed very thin, but now, up close, I see that he has an athletic build, like someone who plays sports, which he does.
“So we finally meet, Klara.” He says my name slowly, as if testing it out.
I swallow but keep my eyes on his shirt. “Um… yeah.” I can’t get out more than two words.
Kang takes his right hand out of his pocket and offers it to me. “Nice to meet you, Klara.”
I stare at his hand like an idiot. I don’t want him to feel howsweaty my palms are. I subtly wipe them off on the inside of my sweatshirt pocket and shake his hand. My stomach tingles instantly at his touch.
He squeezes my hand lightly. “It’s an honor to finally meet the mysterious K.”
I let go of his hand as fast as I can. I don’t know what to do or say. Having him so close is too much.
“Hey, it’s just me,” Kang says.
