Page 67 of Through You
This was the last bus and the last stop. I’m a few miles from the house. The driver says good-bye and leaves me by myself. I hesitate about whether to tell him I have no way to get home. But he leaves on foot; I suspect he lives not far from here. I hang my backpack on one shoulder and reach inside for my wallet. The salary I earn working for the Hidalgos is spent mostly on medicine for my mother, books for school, and bus fare, so I don’t have much on me. And though I’m very good at budgeting, having all those expenses makes it difficult to save.
I bite my lower lip and go back to counting the bills in my wallet. If I pay for a cab, I won’t have enough money left to cover bus fare for the rest of the week. With this in mind, I put the wallet back inside my backpack next to my books. I guess I’ll have to make my way through the streets. I have to admit it makes me nervous. But I have pepper spray on me. I also took a course on personal defense. I step out of the parking garage and look both ways. The street is completely deserted. I inhale deeply before starting to walk. The luminescent streetlights, the darkness at this time of the night, and the deserted street take me back to another night.
“Look at her hair! So disgusting!” A group of teenagers hanging out at a field in the park that served as a temporary home for me and my mom were making fun of me.
They had me cornered against the fence, and I squeezed my teddy bear.
“She does have a sweet face, though,” one of them added. “I mean, after you scrub away all that dirt.”
A boy crouched and placed his hands on his knees, leaning toward me.
“Where’s your mommy, scum?”
Though I was still only seven years old, I’d grown up in difficult situations and had learned how to defend myself. “I’ll scream if you don’t leave me alone.”
The boy laughed.
“Are you going to scream? Then go ahead, stinky brat.” He stretched out both arms and pointed in either direction in the park, which was empty at night. “I’m pretty sure you won’t have an audience.”
My tiny fingers holding the bear trembled.
“Now, tell us. Where’s your mommy? She owes us some merchandise, and if she can’t pay for it we have other ways to get that money, and she knows it.”
Even though I didn’t fully understand what they intended to do with my mother, I knew it wasn’t good because she always cried after they were done with her. When I didn’t respond, another boy brusquely grabbed my face, digging his fingers into my skin with such force that it made me wince in pain. “I don’t have all night.”
I clenched my hand into a fist, and struck him between the legs with all the strength I could muster, just like my mother had taught me. Due to my small height and the fact that he wasn’t expecting the blow, my hit landed hard. He grunted and fell to the ground, and I raced away, dodging between swings and slides until I made it to the small shrubs that encircled the park. Before I knew it, I’d reached the street. I looked over my shoulder to check that no one was following me. I slowed my pace but my chest kept rising and falling, recuperating from the run. The smell of freshly cooked food reached my nose and I closed my eyes to fully savor it.
Oh no. I was on the street with all the restaurants. My mom said I should never come this way because just watching the food is pure torture. I had, on occasion, made it this far, thinking that the smell would be more than enough. I stood outside restaurants with signs I couldn’t read, and I could see everything through the clear windows. I fooled myself into believing I could taste what was being served just by inhaling the smells. There were soups, meats, bread, juices. I licked my lips, and my mouth watered. An elegant man sat at the head of one of the tables, smiling widely at the other people sitting with him. I realized he was with his family. There was a woman next to him and she had a baby on her lap, and a boy who appeared close to my age was seated beside her. Another boy who looked older sat right across from them.
A happy family. I wondered what it felt like to have a father.
Impulsively, I placed my hand on the glass. The boy who looked my age stood up, and then I could tell by his height he was younger than me. Without his family noticing, he made his way to the window and put his hand on the other side of the glass, exactly on the spot where I had mine. He had black hair and beautiful blue eyes.
I smiled at him and he smiled back.
I couldn’t help the urge to ask him if he could share some of his food with me. Just a little. But I knew he wouldn’t be able to hear me from this side of the glass, so I signed with one hand bringing food to my mouth while rubbing my belly with the other. He seemed to understand but before he could say anything, a hand jerked him away from the window: it was the woman. She shot me a cold and dismissive glance, then pulled him back to the table. My hopes for a warm meal were dashed when he left. I hung my head low, let out a sigh, and turned around to make my way back to the park to find my mother.
“Hey!” someone called to me. I looked around, fearful that it might be the guys who had been harassing me before.
It was the elegant man from inside the restaurant. His family stood behind him as a black car pulled up and parked in front of them. The lady helped the kids into the car; the boy with the blue eyes waved good-bye to me. And the older boy was standing, still staring at me, likely waiting for his father.
“Hey, there!” The gentleman greeted me amicably and gave me a warm smile, then knelt down in front of me. “Are you hungry?”
I looked at him with trepidation. No one was ever nice without expecting something in return. That was what my mother told me all the time. But I was starving, and slowly nodded in response.
“Are you alone?” I shook my head. “Where’s your mother?”
Unconscious. Right behind the swings, in a patch encircled by some bushes that had become our home.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” He extended his hand. “My name is Juan. What’s your name?”
I quickly glanced at his hand and decided not to take it.
“Claudia.”
His smile widened.
“That’s a pretty name. Great. Now, Claudia, I just want to help. Okay? Will you take me to your mother?”
