Page 19 of Through You
The strange man climbs on top of my mom, pulling at her skirt. I hit him repeatedly. He turns around, grabs me by the hair, and drags me to the door. He throws me out and I land hard on the snow that’s piled in front of our trailer.
“Listen, brat, if you dare come back inside, I’ll kill you.”
I run away, hoping to find someone who can help. I can’t fight that man by myself. My mother told me I should never fight anyone who comes looking for her. She says I should go look for help instead. I stumble and fall. A few inches of snow have fallen on the ground, and I can’t feel my feet.
A kind voice speaks in my ear and a pair of strong arms hold me tight out here in the cold.
“Hey, hey. Claudia.”
I open my eyes; tears cloud my vision and I’m trembling uncontrollably.
“You’re okay. It was just a nightmare.” I am as startled by Artemis’s voice as I am by the realization that we’re standing in the middle of the backyard. Was I sleepwalking? Again?
The fear, the cold, the anguish of the dream still torment my thoughts. I lift my head to look up at the eyes that used to soothe me when I had these nightmares before. I purse my lips to stop myself from crying. But I fail. Artemis holds my face. In this moment, he ceases to be the cold and bitter man others see. He’s the boy I grew up with; the one who protected me and held me every time I was tortured by these horrible dreams. The boy who would only act this way when he was with me.
“You’re okay,” he whispers while his thumbs wipe away my tears.
I can’t speak.
“You don’t have to say anything. Everything is okay.” He hugs me. And I quietly sob, pressed against his chest. His scent calms me down. His hand caresses the back of my head. I find myself unable to summon the will to put up my defenses and push him away. “I’m here, Claudia, you’re okay.”
I encircle his waist with my arms, and hug him tightly.
I feel too unstable to think clearly. Right now, I need to feel safe in his arms, if only for a brief moment. Just until the fear of imminent peril that is triggered by these nightmares goes away. Simply because these are not just dreams; they are vivid memories.
And he knows this. He is very well aware.
Seven
You’re enjoying this. Aren’t you?
ARTEMIS
A punch.
And another.
And one more.
My wrapped fists make contact with the leather bag hanging in front of me. I punch it again and again, every time with more force.
The sweat rolls from my neck down to my chest and abdomen. My biceps flex with every hit. Yet my mind is stuck in last night.
“I . . .” Claudia stopped hugging me and moved away, her eyes puffy from crying so much. She looked uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. I—”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I assured her with a warm smile.
She avoided my gaze and cleared her throat. “I have to go.”
As I punch the bag repeatedly, I recall her tense shoulders and stiff posture once she recovered from the shock. Most importantly, I remember how good it felt to hold her in my arms.
Her scent, so familiar, drives me crazy. I can’t let myself be interested in her. She’s part of my past. And I have a girlfriend.
“Claudia,” I called; she gave me a friendly smile as she started to leave.
“Thank you for . . .” She paused. “Thanks.”
And she went back inside the house, bringing our interaction to a close.
