Page 46 of Through You
I recline on the couch when I finish eating. It’s a marvelous feeling when your stomach is full with homemade food, so I close my eyes and savor this special sensation, knowing it may well be the last time I spend with her like this. She places one hand over mine. The warmth of her skin makes me feel good, and I open my eyes and stare at her.
“I . . .” She stops herself, but I understand what she needs to say by her expression. For the very first time I’m able to read her face, and knowing how she’s feeling takes my breath away. I turn my hand and intertwine it with hers.
“I missed you, too, sexy.”
The moment we hear the door open, she immediately lets go of my hand as if it was on fire, and my heart hurts because I know the special magic moment we just shared is over. I turn around to see who is at the door, and Cristina struts elegantly in, carrying a bag of food.
I didn’t, for an instant, fail to remember that Cristina would return shortly. I don’t want to explain myself to Claudia; I’d rather she arrive at her own conclusions.
Claudia, please hate me.
Push me away.
Close yourself off again.
I’m a coward, I know. But I’m not good with words. Besides, I’m not confident I can look her in the eye and tell her that I’m back with Cristina, who is currently greeting Claudia with a friendly smile.
“Oh, hi. It seems I’m too late, and you ate already!”
I watch Claudia’s expression change. Pain spreads over her beautiful face. And I can’t bring myself to look directly at her. I don’t want to see the hurt she’s feeling written on her face. Cristina bends forward and gives me a quick peck. I fix my gaze on her when she straightens up. At this very moment, I’m having a hard time grappling with how deeply I’ve hurt the woman sitting next to me.
“You must be Claudia. Pleasure to meet you. I’m Cristina, his fiancé.”
Cristina knows well who Claudia is. My mother has mentioned her name many times when speaking about the house staff.
“Are you not feeling well?” Cristina asks her politely.
This makes me turn to check on Claudia, which I regret immediately. The pained look on her face makes my stomach churn. I can tell she’s struggling to stay calm.
I’m a piece of shit.
Suddenly, I realize I’ve handled the situation in the worst possible way. Claudia leaps to her feet.
“I . . . need to go now.”
I feel her gaze on me but I can’t bring myself to look at her.
I can’t stand seeing you like this, Claudia. It hurts.
“Have a good afternoon,” she says as she leaves my office.
And behind her, a deafening silence.
It’s better this way,Artemis, I tell myself over and over again, trying to exorcise from my mind the pained look on Claudia’s face. I need for her to hate me and to stay away from me because I believe I’m incapable of doing that on my own.
Cristina is watching me. “What was that?”
“Nothing.” I get up and walk to my desk.
She folds her arms. “That did not look like ‘nothing’ to me.”
There’s no reproach in her voice, just curiosity. “I was under the impression that we were going to be honest with each other if we became involved with someone else.”
“There’s nothing between us. Well, not anymore.”
She understands what I mean.
“Was she why you broke up with me?”
