Page 117 of Through You
“Chimmy is seeing someone.”
“Chimmy? I thought only her friends called her that.”
“We were friends.”
“You were? Alex, I don’t understand.”
“Or we are friends. I don’t even know anymore. It’s just that, I can’t explain, since she started seeing that idiot, I get angry every time I see her.”
Oh.
“You like her.”
“No.”
“Oh, you’re crazy about her.”
“No, Artemis. It’s just—” He opens the bag and takes out his lunch. “She’s always been in love with me, ever since she started working as my secretary. By pure fluke I overheard her a few times chatting with other female staff about her crush. She’s always been resigned to leave it at that, and I never encouraged or misled her in any way. You know I’m not that kind of guy.”
I nod and motion for him to go on talking.
“She’s always been there for me, including the time when . . .”
He doesn’t need to mention his fiancé’s infidelity. “I suppose I got used to being her everything.”
“So what happened?”
“She confessed her feelings to me, and I turned her down. We remained friends, and everything was fine until . . .”
“Until she started dating someone else and you stopped being her everything.”
“Exactly. It’s not that I like her. Maybe I’m just being selfish.”
“Alex.”
“What?”
“I think, for the first time, it’s my turn to give you some love advice,” I tell him in disbelief. “Who would have thought! You can deny it all you want, but I think you like Chimmy. In fact, I believe it goes beyond that. It’s just that you’re afraid that she’ll make you fall in love with her and make you vulnerable again.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Either way, it’s not right that you treat her like that just because you lack self-control. Don’t be like me—you’ll regret it later when you think back to the times you mistreated her. You can apologize all you want but that won’t turn back time.”
Alex looks at me with a concerned expression. “It sounds like this happened to you.”
I let out a sigh, pull the other lunch container out of the bag, and remove the lid.
“Is everything okay?”
I’m not sure if it’s because we just discussed the topic of declarations, but I go ahead and share what happened with Claudia.
“That must hurt,” Alex replies, before taking a mouthful from his meal. “But look on the bright side, Artemis. At least she was honest. It’s very easy to lie and say I love you without reciprocating those feelings simply because you don’t want to embarrass someone. And she didn’t do that.”
“I thought she and I felt the same way.”
“Oh, come on. After all you two have been through, don’t doubt her feelings just because she didn’t say she loved you back.
We’re all different. And our feelings develop at our own unique paces. The time will come when she’ll say it back.”
