Page 5 of Reckless Roses
“I guess?”
I’m confused. That is, until I notice her breathing increase, notice the change in color on her cheeks, the way she frantically looks around my home, gazing through its windows as if she’s searching for something. Someone.
It hits me then.
“You know my brother?”
It’s the way she drops her head, hides her smile, and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. I’ve seen way too many girls do that way too many times in Zach’s presence.
“Yeah.” She bites her lip, blushing. “I mean…we talk on the phone sometimes. He helps me with my math homework.”
The butterflies begging to explode out of my body only moments ago all seem to perish, their still wings like dead weight inside the bottom of my stomach. Disappointment punches me right in the gut, making me fight the urge to keel over and die right along with those butterflies.
Elena is the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.
She likes my favorite book. She didn’t call me a loser when I told her I draw.
She’s funny. She told me she liked me. When I made her smile, I felt something in my chest I’ve never felt before.
And Elena has a crush on my older brother.
She’s still looking toward the front of my house, the massive purple tree hanging over us like a daydream, the house behind it acting as the harsh, unfair reality that is my brother. He’s handsome—with perfect eyesight—and charming. He plays just about every sport ever invented, and he’s the captain of every team. He has gone through puberty and had his growth spurt while I’m still small. He always says the right thing, knows how to talk to girls. I’m awkward and shy.
I hate him sometimes. I hate him most of all right now.
“He’s not home right now,” I say to Elena, trying to keep my voice still. “He doesn’t get home until after?—”
“Baseball practice.” She nods. “Yeah, I know. I must’ve forgotten.” Her eyes meet mine, and suddenly, all that intense focus has fallen back on me. Suddenly, I don’t care about my brother. I don’t care about much of anything except her looking at me. “So…Sweet Rue’s on Saturday at noon?”
She still wants to hang out with me?
Speechless, I only nod.
Elena smiles again, and it’s not the meek, hidden blush that appeared when I mentioned my brother. It’s bigger, it’s real.Something she’s not afraid to hide from me, though I wonder if her smile is something she tries to hide from others.
“If you can’t come, just have your brother text me and let me know.” She begins down the sidewalk toward Oceanside Avenue. “Bye, Augustus!” She waves before she’s out of sight.
“Bye, Elena.” I wave back.
I still feel the burn of her touch on my knee as I stare down at the sprinkles of purple flowers she left behind. I pick them up, gathering them in my pockets before I go inside.
I know I had a horrible day before I stumbled upon her, but now, I can’t seem to remember what was so bad.
3
AUGUST
“PLEASE DON’T BE” - HAZLETT
AGE THIRTEEN - JUNE
“Wake up, Augustus,”a soft voice sings from somewhere outside my head.
In my mind, I’m dreaming of that voice too.
A sting races through the underside of my arm. My eyes fly open, and I shoot upright in bed, slapping away whatever the hell just bit me. As I check my arms for signs of some insect, her laughter filters through my ears, and suddenly, my body is on alert for an entirely different reason. I hike my comforter up my chest, ensuring it’s not so tight that she can see exactly what’s going on beneath it.
Turning sideways, I find Elena on her knees at the edge of my bed, smiling at me.
