Page 37 of Reckless Roses
“I won’t wait for you,” I whisper, more to myself than to him.
To my surprise, he laughs.Laughs. “Okay, Elena.”
I stand, spinning to face him. “You don’t believe me, do you? You want to pack up and leave without notice, move across the country, go off grid, and leave me sitting right here, waiting to welcome you home with open arms when you show your face again a year later?”
He’s staring at me blankly, zero emotion in his deep brown eyes. “I didn’t say I wanted that.”
“No. You just expect it.”
He doesn’t respond.
Now I’m the one laughing. “Because that’s what I’ve always been to you, right? The girl you lie to, cheat on, use like a toy. You leave when you get bored, and every time you come back, I’m right where you left me.”
Zach’s nostrils flare, eyes on fire. “That’s all you fucking care about? Really? I just spilled my fucking guts to you, and your only concern is how it makesyoufeel?”
“I empathize with you—really, I do!” I shout. “But there are a million different ways you could’ve gone about this, chief among them,communicatingwith me. Springing this on me two days before you plan to fucking leave is cruel. We’ve been together for a decade, Zach. You owed me more.”
My voice breaks on those final words, and I watch Zach’s face shudder at the sound, the only evidence he’s aware of how much he’s hurting me right now. That he’s hurting too. “I don’t owe you anything, Elena.”
Those words split me open, and the expression on his face digs the hole he’ll bury me in.
“Then I don’t owe you anything either. You walk out right now, and this is done. For good.” My vision blurs through the mess of my tears, and I realize—I won’t even get to see him clearly when he shuts that door on me.
“I know,” he whispers, grabbing the handle.
“Are you threatened by it?” I ask, voice a desperate plea. His brows shoot up in question. “The way you love me. The power I hold over you because of it,” I continue, grasping for any excuse to prolong this moment. Of making him stay. “Or were you never in love with me to begin with?”
Zach shakes his head, and I imagine how I look right now: a broken girl with stars in her eyes, begging for the only thing she ever truly wanted from him.
“You know how I love you.”
“I asked if you wereinlove with me.”
There’s genuine pain on his face when his gaze meets mine, burning into my soul for the final time, leaving it branded and bleeding. “I can’t give you the answer you want to hear.”
My eyes fall closed, unwilling to watch this ending. For the first time, he doesn’t slam the door when he leaves. The click of it falling into place is gentle and soft, echoing through the chamber of my chest like the hammering of a final nail in my coffin.
14
AUGUST
“VIOLETS FOR ROSES” - LANA DEL REY
AGE TWENTY-THREE - JANUARY
“What’re you drawing?”
I startle, jumping at the sound of her voice. I turn, finding Elena standing behind me, the golden sun casting a glow on her face. “What are you doing here?”
“Stalked your location.” She shrugs, sitting down beside me. “I hit my word count goal for the day, cleaned my entire apartment, and didn’t want to be alone, so I decided to come find you.”
I chuckle, turning back to my sketchbook. “Glad you did.”
“This is your first time out of the shop in forever, it feels.”
I nod. “We had to cut the power for the day so they could do some installation, and when it started to get dark, there was no way I could continue working with only flashlights, so I came out here to watch the rest of the sunset.”
I’ve been working with Jensen, the artist I had my apprenticeship with, for the last two years. He offered me a job after I got my license, and while I preferred living in Pacific Shores, I couldn’t turn down the job.
