Thoughts of my late wife gave me pause.
“Do you think it’s too soon?” I asked my cousin.
Enzo’s lips twisted in thought before he shook his head. “It’s not like you were in love with Allegra.”
My body jolted in my chair. “Whoa, back it up a step. Nobody’s talking about love. Lust, sure, but that’s as far as it can go.” Love was a luxury someone in my position couldn’t afford, and truthfully, I wasn’t sure I was capable of that type of emotion in a romantic capacity, having never experienced it before.
Folding both arms over his chest, my cousin shot me straight. “You’re talking about a new mommy for the girls, Matteo. She’s not going to stick around long term if all you’re willing to offer her is sex.”
I scoffed. “Obviously, I can provide a comfortable life, something she’s never been afforded in the past.”
“So she’ll go from lifeguard to nanny to prostitute? Got it.”
In a heartbeat, my hackles raised. “Watch it.” It was a miracle I could get those words out through gritted teeth.
Enzo didn’t back down. “Tell me I’m wrong. You expect to fuck her and provide money as part of the exchange.”
“It wouldn’t be any different than what I offered Allegra.”
He leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his spread knees. “Allegra didn’t have a choice. She was a pawn in a game of chess played by powerful men and knew well enough to keep her head down and do her duty. This girl is innocent; she doesn’t come from our world. You can’t expect to treat her the same.”
Fuck. He was right.
Summer was a literal ray of sunshine, chasing away the dark cloud that had hung over us for the past year, but I feared that tethering her to our lives would extinguish that light.
Unfortunately for her, I was a selfish motherfucker who was willing to take that risk.
“Papa!” Bianca jumped up from her seat at the tiny table inside the playroom as soon as she caught sight of me.
Once she was within range, she took a flying leap with all the confidence in the world that I would catch her. And just as I had a million times before, as soon as she was in my arms, I spun her around. The sound of her giggles soothed the rough edges of my soul.
Propping my daughter on my hip, I asked, “How was your day?”
Her brown eyes sparkled. “It was the best day ever!”
My smile couldn’t be contained. “Oh yeah? What made it ‘the best day ever’?” I tickled her tummy as I exaggerated her declaration.
Peals of laughter rang out loud and clear, and she begged me to stop. Granting mercy, I held her close while she recovered from my tickle attack, sucking in deep breaths, her tiny body still vibrating.
“We colored and sang and danced and played!”
Pursing my lips together, I made a show of looking impressed. “That does sound like the best day.” I kissed the side of her head. “I’m glad you had fun.”
“Summer’s the best!” Bianca cheered. “I want to keep her forever.”
That’s the plan, kid.
Setting my daughter on her feet, I glanced at the nanny I’d quickly become obsessed with. She was seated on the floor, a tower of foam blocks stacked between her and Serafina.
“Sounds like things went well on the first day,” I remarked.
Summer dipped her chin. “They’re sweet girls. We had a lot of fun together.”
“Good.”
Her brow furrowed. “Thought you said you were working late.”
“That was the plan, but I didn’t feel right leaving you to put them to bed alone on your first night here. I’ll finish up from the home office once they’re asleep, and most likely will have to go in early tomorrow.”