Page 135 of Bellini Born
One of the two most beautiful little girls in the entire world stared back at me, and I choked back a sob as I uttered her name. “Bianca.”
“When are you coming home?” she asked.
Blinking furiously, I lifted my gaze to the ceiling before answering honestly. “I don’t know, sweetheart.”
Her lower lip trembled. “You said you wanted to be my mommy.”
Goddamn, those words were like a knife through my heart, and I began to bleed out.
“I do.” Turning my face, I discreetly wiped away the traitorous tears that slipped down my cheeks.
“Can I come see you? I promise I’ll be good.”
“Maybe,” I whispered, my voice growing hoarse as my throat closed up.
Bianca fixed me with a scowl. “Maybe means no.”
“Is your daddy there?” As much as it would hurt to talk to him, it wouldn’t come close to the agony of trying to explain this very complex situation to his daughter.
She glanced to the side. “Papa?”
His rich timber filtered through the speaker. “Go play with Cookie,principessa.”
Bianca disappeared, and Matteo came into view, the sight of him making my heart twist inside my chest.
He looked rough. His hair, which was overdue for a cut after our time spent abroad, stood out in every direction. There was a significant amount of scruff lining his normally clean-shaven jaw. Dark purple circles rested beneath dark brown eyes that appeared dull, like the light had been snuffed out of them.
Swallowing, I rasped, “You’re not playing fair.”
Matteo showed no remorse. “I never will when it comes to you.” He blew out a heavy breath. “She misses you. We all do.”
The floodgates opened, and tears streamed freely down my face.
Did he think I didn’t miss them desperately? Because I did. Every minute of every day. And the pain of it was like having my heart ripped out of my chest.
“If you’re agreeable, I can send her for a visit.”
I let out a watery scoff. “Is that where we’ve found ourselves? Brokering custody of your daughters?”
“Ourdaughters,” he corrected.
“Come on, Matteo,” I chided. “We both know I don’t have any rights.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Look. I’m not going to beg you to come home because you said you needed space, and I’m respecting your wishes. When you do decide to come back, I want it to be because you’re ready, not because I guilted you into it.”
Wry laughter fell from my lips. “I’d be more inclined to believe that if you hadn’t used a four-year-old to pull on my heart strings.”
“They don’t deserve to lose a second mother because of me. So, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn’t happen. Even if that means Gabi and Enzo become the go-betweens shuttling the girls back and forth.”
“I need to find a way to pull myself together first.”
His eyes slammed shut. “Summer, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
I hung up because there wasn’t anything else left to say.
And only then did I let myself fall apart.
