Page 61 of The Court of the Dead
“So, what exactly are we watching for?” Deion asked. “I’ve seen zilch.”
“Anything out of the ordinary,” said Will.
“That doesn’t narrow it down.” Savannah squinted at Nico. “Do you really think someone is sneaking into camp and capturing monst—” She caught her choice of words. “Sorry.Mythics.”
Nico leaned against the parapet. “We don’t exactly know. But we’ll find out.”
Savannah still looked troubled. The cacodemon Guilt skittered toward her, its long legs making it look like a tarantula wreathed in inky black vapor. It stared up at Savannah as if it recognized a fellow sufferer.
“This isn’t your fault,” Nico told her.
“It kinda feels like it is,” she murmured.
“Come on,” said Deion. “Don’t say that.”
Savannah faced him. “Easy for you to say. You make friends with everybody, even a farting griffin. Me? I had a meltdown. I blamed Arielle for something she didn’t do! I hurt her. I wished she would go away. I wanted themallto go away, and now…”
Deion didn’t reply. He just stood beside her, scanning the hillside. Guilt rolled around at her feet, showing off his smoky belly.
“Sorry,” Savannah said softly. “I didn’t mean to take out my problems on you. I seem to be doing that a lot.”
“It’s cool.” Deion gave her a smile. “ ’Least you don’t fart when you’re nervous. As far as I can tell.”
Savannah punched him playfully. Will refilled everybody’s cups, because there was no problem hot chocolate couldn’t make better.
“We all do it,” Will said. “I mean, lash out sometimes. Not fart. Although I guess we all do that, too.”
Nico cleared his throat. “I think what my boyfriend is trying to say, in his fumbling but adorable way, is that we all make mistakes. Will can attest to how many times I’ve said something completely out of line when I’ve been upset.”
“But not like this,” said Savannah. “If something has happened to Arielle…”
Sadness washed over Nico. “You know, I once blamed a really good friend because my sister died. Blamed him for a long time, too.”
He could sense both Deion and Savannah staring at him, but he pushed past his discomfort. He knew he needed to talk about this.
“She died so far away from me. There was nothing I could do about it, but I thought that my friend…I thought hecouldhave done something and simply didn’t try hard enough. And I hated him for it.”
Despite the fact that it had been years since Bianca’s death—and only months since the last time he’d spoken with her in the Underworld—Nico’s eyes blurred. He swayed a little.
He turned to the campers with a sorrowful smile. “I’m still grieving. But I realize that I was so angry and afraid, I found the easiest person to blame. I gave him every ounce of my rage and my sadness.”
“And now?” Savannah asked.
Nico shrugged. “It was a process, but we’re friends again. The hardest part was learning to live withthatlittle guy.” He pointed to Guilt, which was rolling on its back, legs flailing, just begging for Savannah to scratch its shadowy tummy.
Will gazed at the city below them. “I’ve learned that grief is…weird. I lost a lot of friends in the Battle of Manhattan. One was a sibling—an older brother from the Apollo cabin. I was so furious that he was gone. Then, right after he died, I got the chance to save someone else. Inexplicably, that healed a part ofme. I think I would have been so much worse off if that hadn’t happened.”
Savannah wiped away a tear. “I guess I haven’t even really had a chance to be sad about my parents. I was with Lupa so soon after they died. Then I came here.”
“And then you saw Arielle.” Deion patted her shoulder. “After what happened to your folks, that would mess up anybody. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. When we find Arielle, you two can talk. I’m sure that will make you both feel better.”
He winked at Nico and Will. “And we will find her, right? You two survived Tartarus. You can do anything.”
“Oh, gods, that’s right.” Savannah sniffled. “Here I am talking about my own problems, and you guys have been through so much worse.”
“Hey,” Nico said, “everyone’s pain is valid. Dionysus told me that, and he should know. Heisa pain.”
Savannah laughed for the first time Nico had heard. “Still,” she said, “you’re both kind of celebrities.”
