Page 79 of Cloak of the Vampire
It had been years since I’d had these dreams. Years, and yet I had them now.
I knew why I dreamed of Logan, of our broken, twisted relationship. I knew why my mind forced me to remember what happened to people I attempted to love and what happened to them when they learned of my past. I knew it was merely a reminder, awarningof what was to come.
The horror of who I was,whatI was, would forever haunt me.
The memories of me doing to Logan what my father did to those girls would forever be a stain on my far-from-clear past.
After years of therapy, I was still sick with myself. Sick that I’d done all those things, first in the name of the Morrow Gods and then for my own selfish reasons.
It hurt, knowing I was not worthy of anything good. It also terrified me that Ragnor, who somehow learned about Amir, would find out about all this and would forever see me for who I truly was.
A monster. Or at the very least, the spawn of one.
That suffocating fear consumed me for the rest of the night.
The plate slipped from my fingers and shattered on the kitchen floor. CJ, who was sweeping nearby, came over, frowned, and tidied away the pieces.
Jada sent me a concerned look. “Go sit down. I don’t want you near any plates if you’re going to drop them anyway.”
I gave her a silent shrug and took a seat next to her. It was my fourth plate since the beginning of my shift. Concentration eluded me now that it was only one week until the Auction.
Bowen took a seat next to me. “It’s the Auction jitters, isn’t it?” he asked as though he read my mind.
I nodded, though it wasn’t only the Auction. I hadn’t seen Ragnor in the past week, ever since our fight at the workshop. I was still struggling to find a decent idea to paint in the Auction itself, while my classmates were already settled on their acts. Logan’s gym classes grew brutal in their intensity, causing every bone in my body to ache. Nightmares interrupted my sleep, only adding to my constantly growing exhaustion.
“I remember my first Auction,” CJ murmured as he helped Jada wash the rest of the dishes. “It wasn’t a good experience.”
“First Auction?” I wondered out loud. Abe hadn’t said anything regarding taking part in the Auction more than once.
Jada gave me a small smile. “CJ completely fucked up his performance.” She snickered.
CJ shot her a wilting look. “I was nervous,” he muttered, “and I forgot the choreography.”
“You’re a dancer?” I asked, surprised.
He shrugged. “Not really. It’s more of a hobby, and I used it for my Auction performance, you see.”
“Unfortunately, CJ fell on his ass when he tried to execute a backward somersault,” Jada said, jumping in, and grinned saccharinely when CJ glared at her.
Bowen chuckled and turned to me. “In the end, our Lord didn’t think CJ was such a waste of space,” he said, smirking, and then yelped when CJ threw a soapy sponge at his face.
“Speaking of which, do you remember that girl who wasn’t bought?” Jada asked, turning to Bowen. “I think it was back when you first arrived.”
CJ tensed, and Bowen’s face darkened. Tension filled the air, and for the first time since I met them, there was no hint of humor on any of their faces. “Yeah,” Bowen replied quietly. “Luana.”
“Right,” Jada said, face suddenly sad.
When a tense silence fell on the room, I couldn’t help but break it. “What happened to her?” I asked, recalling that Abe never really told us what would happen if we weren’t bought. None of us talked about it, if only because we understood it couldn’t be anything good, but I felt like I should know. Just in case.
Bowen gave me a faint smile. “Luana wasn’t considered particularly beautiful or talented,” he said, voice wistful. “But she was diligent. She was on the waiting list for many years before luck came knocking on her door, and so she worked her ass off to try and get bought into a good League.”
“What a fool,” CJ murmured grimly.
“She had stage fright.” Bowen shook his head, lips pursed. “She walked up on the Auction stage and just stared ahead vacantly, motionless and speechless.”
He sighed. “It’s extremely rare when someone isn’t bid on, and when it happens, the unbought vampire has three options.” His eyes glowed in anger, and he fell silent.
None of them spoke for a few long moments before Jada let the last plate she was washing go and stepped back, wiping her hands. “The vampiric Society is vastly different from the humans’,” she said, turning to me with serious eyes. “We’re closer to animals than humans are. We have better instincts, better senses, and far superior strength and power. Our Society’s Lords are the embodiment of all these attributes when they reach their highest peak.”
