Page 49 of Wandering in Darkness
Why the fuck is he such a smooth talker on top of everything? Or is it just my brain that’s decided he is? “It gets you a little somewhere but nowhere fast.”
His lips quirk up just a little more. “You sure aboutthat?”
“Stop making me second-guess myself!” I tease.
He merely shakes his head as he drives. “Did you hear we need to be at the airport by four on Saturday?”
“Excuse me… no… that’s so early! I have a late class Friday night too. I need to be in bed by like… six to get up that early.”
Grayson glances away from the road to grin at me. “Aren’t college kids supposed to stay up late drinking every night and get up early for class every morning?”
“You misunderstand. I am an old man going to college. Not a ‘college kid.’”
“If you are old, I’m ancient. What are you going to school for?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“Business… I guess. But I’m only one semester in and starting to think that… maybe business isn’t for me.”
“What do you enjoy doing?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I… I thought about social work.”
“What kind of social work?”
“Like… with kids. I just… don’t think I’d actually be any good at it, you know?”
“What made you decide you wouldn’t be good at it?” Grayson asks. “You know how much better it is to do something you enjoy? And social work sounds like a really good job. I think that’s a fantastic idea.”
“Yeah but… the majority of people in social work are women… not men out of the military whose only skill is shooting people.”
“I’m not sure how you could possibly believe that’s your only skill. And do you think all of the children who social workers help are children who want to be helped by women? Some children were mistreated and abused by women and would absolutely love to be helped by a man. You’re always knocking yourself down. I’ve noticed that you can never believe that you did a good job at anything. You’ll make a shot that I’ve never seen anyone make and do it with so much ease, and then youwill look me in the eyes and tell me that you’re not good enough. Who made you think that you were never good enough?”
I frown because this is definitely not how I wanted to spend my precious alone time with Grayson. I wanted to flirt with him and be like, “Hey, look at me,” and instead, I’ve made a fool of myself. Now I’m left thinking about my shitty-as-fuck mother who made sure I was aware that I was never worth anything.
“Let’s talk about something else.”
Grayson’s silent for a moment, and I can’t tell whether that means he’s not planning to or will grudgingly agree. “Okay. But don’t ignore what I said. You are so much better than you seem to think you are.”
“Thanks,” I say quietly.
“Now if you want to compliment me, I won’t complain,” he teases.
I laugh, and I’m glad for the joke to break up the tension in the car. “Oh man… where do I even start? I don’t think we have a long enough drive.”
“We still have ten minutes.”
“I don’t know if I’d even get through a quarter of my list in ten minutes!”
He laughs and I love the sound of it, but I feel like maybe I shouldn’t start with that. If I do, I might really seem like some lovesick teen.
“I’m waiting to hear a list of magnificent things about myself.”
“Are you secretly a narcissist?”
“Secretly? No. I’m prepared to lay it all out there. I love attention and compliments. Like… look how pretty I am!”
