Page 4 of Wandering in Darkness
“You say that like you’ll feed me!”
“I can feed you,” Lane says. “Are there any red foods you like?”
“Why are they red? So that if you bleed on them, I won’t notice?”
Lane shakes his head as Felix speeds off toward home. “I’m phenomenal with a knife. I’ve only cut myself one time, and that’s because Felix’s Bacon Bits slammed into me.”
“Don’t youdarecall him Bacon Bits. What if he has nightmares because of you?” Felix hisses.
“Well, since he sleeps in our bed, I can reach over and smack him awake,” Lane says.
“You know he gets sad sleeping on the floor.”
“You cannot invite any more animals into our home, do you understand?”
“What if we solve this issue by simply getting a bigger bed? Presto. Perfect.”
“You’d just use it as an excuse to fill it with more stolen pets.”
“I haven’t stolen a single one of my pets. They all lovingly wanted to come with me. Brigs wouldn’t have hidden so quietly in my shirt if he hadn’t wanted to, would you, little Brigadier?”Felix asks while Brigs begins trying to get into my pockets as if it’s his life goal.
“Stop it! I don’t have anything for you!” I protest, but the pig is determined. He’s rooting like he’s expecting to find gold at the bottom of my pockets, and I’m just trying to shove the pig off. He’s surprisingly solid and the thing isn’t even fully grown yet.
“Let Briggy have whatever he wants,” Felix says.
“At this rate, he’s pushing against my body so hard I’m confident he wants my arteries.”
“Then you let him have them!”
“How about I don’t?”
“Lane, what should we order for dinner tonight?” Felix asks, like I’m running some diner they can pick and choose from. The kind of diner where I don’t get paid and my tips come in the form of animals begging me for attention and scraps.
“Do you evenhavefood in the house?” I ask.
“We do,” Lane says. “Felix led me through the store going, ‘Ooh, Cal can make this! Oh! And I want him to make me tacos!”
Felix gasps. “Taaacooos.”
“I don’t get paid enough for this,” I mumble as Felix pulls into the driveway of their home.
Though I bitch about it, I’m well aware that if he didn’t drag me into his chaotic household, I would go back to my apartment where the quiet would creep in until I couldn’t stand it anymore. It’s why I’ve ended up here more and more often. Thankfully, they don’t seem to mind. If they did, I doubt they’d drag me here as often as they do. It actually feels more like a loving hostage situation than anything.
“I invited Antonio for tacos too,” Felix says.
“When? And how did you even know I was going to willingly make you tacos?”
“Because you love me. End of story,” Felix decides as he gets out and opens the back door where all of his creatures trampleovermy lap to get out. Like would it have been that hard to have gone around my legs or waited?
I have to wonder what his neighbors think.
Following him inside, I head right for the kitchen, feeling a bit hungry as I start pulling out the supplies while Felix beams at me.
I side-eye him while scavenging through his supplies. “Your smile creeps me out.”
“My smile is magnificent.”
“Magnificently creepy,” I grumble.
