Page 118 of Wandering in Darkness
“Do you want a shower?” he asks.
“Yes, but not yet,” I say as I climb onto his lap, draping my arms around him while he kisses my neck. His hand grips my ass before his fingers dip down between my ass cheeks, rubbing over my sensitive hole.
“I feel like I’m… in a dream and I’m… going to wake up and…”
His arms tighten around me. “Even when you wake up, I’m going to be right here. I’m not going to leave you. I promise, okay? I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
I nod as my fingers tighten, digging into his back before I realize that maybe I’m hurting him, so I loosen my grip. “I hatethis place,” I admit. “Because when I’m here, the only company I have are my thoughts, and they are smothering. I hate this place. I hate being alone. I hate that I have to have constant noise or I spiral.”
“Felix told me you’re seeing a professional.”
“It does nothing.”
“You told me that I’m the first person you ever told what happened. How can they help you if you keep what hurts you so much hidden?”
I bury my head against his chest. “I don’t know.”
“You can’t carry this alone, Cal. You have wonderful friends who would do anything for you. And I hope you realize that you have me now. Carrying this does nothing but hurt you. I’m here. I’m not leaving. If you want me to move in today so you never have to be alone again, I’m here.”
“That’s so selfish and ridiculous of me.”
“My rental agreement is almost up. The landlord was like, ‘I’m kicking you out at the end of the month,’ so I have absolutely nowhere to go. I’ll probably have to live in those like… sketchy motels for a while.”
I pull back and raise an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“I just… I wish I had somewhere to go.”
“Felix has a nice couch for you.”
“You going to be there?”
“Hmm…” I grin at the ridiculous man. “You… I mean, you really want to commit this much so soon?”
“So soon? In my eyes, it’s not soon enough. I’m only like… a year and a half behind. But ifyouthink it’s too soon?—”
“No… I mean… I just… you know…”
“I don’t,” Grayson says.
“You do!”
“Hmm, nope. I love you.”
My face heats up as I tuck it against his neck and whisper, “I love you too… It’s been a long day. We should sleep, yeah? Sleep…”
He smiles as he pulls me in for a kiss. “Fuck, I love you so much.”
“Am I supposed to just say it again? I love you too.”
Grayson’s smile widens. “I really love you.”
“We going to do this all night?” I ask, positive my face is on fire. “I love you so much. Now let’s get some sleep.”
“Fine, fine. Let me clean you up first.”
“I suppose that could be a thing. We could take a quick shower or something like that,” I say as I hold my arms out to him. He pulls me up to my feet and hauls me off toward the bathroom where I immediately get lost in his touches again.
TWENTY-TWO
