Page 79 of High Stakes and Soulmates
“Scoot your damn chair over here or I’m going to get up, rip the IV out of my arm, and drag you over here myself.”
“Please don’t do that,” he says as he stands up and slides his chair over to the bed. He sets it next to me and sits down, but in a way that is keeping his body as far from mine as possible. I hold my hand out and he stares at it like he’s never seen a hand before.
“You’re going to refuse to take my hand?” I ask in disbelief.
Ezio slowly reaches out and I snatch it or I’m afraid I’ll be an old man before it makes it to me. I stare at his hand for a long moment before my fingers slide between his. “I really hope Joaquin is okay.”
“Julian is at the store getting you a new phone right now.”
“Thank you… I really did get bitten, didn’t I?”
“Yeah.”
“Fuck.”
“Being a werewolf isn’t all that bad. And Julian will help you through every part of it,” he assures me.
“And will you help me as well?” I ask since he said it in a way that made it sound like Julian is going to be the only one aroundtohelp. “That means you have to be around to do it.”
Ezio slowly nods. “Is that really what you want?”
“I think… nearly dying made me realize how foolish I was being. What have I accomplished in four years besides being alone? It’s like I’ve been the only person unable to move on, but why? It’s as though I’ve built up this idea that I’m letting them down if I don’t dedicate my every thought to avenging them. But who the fuck am I letting down? They’re dead. I don’t want to die with the knowledge that I could have lived a life that I gave up for some fucked-up reason.”
I reach for my water, but he quickly grabs it and holds it out for me so I don’t have to stretch.
“I can’t love you,” he whispers as his eyes stay averted. “Not after Louis just got done telling me he’s going to kill youjustbecause I care about you.”
“But you’d love me if we killed him?”
He tucks his head until his forehead is touching our hands that are clasped on the bed.
Honestly, I feel hypocritical even fighting him on this when I pushed him off for so long. But as I was dragged out of that stall by that werewolf, I realized how quickly life could just… end, so what the fuck was I waiting for? For all of the pieces to perfectly fall into place so I could then be happy enough to move on? But life doesn’t work like that. Finding my parents’ killer didn’t automatically fix my life. And maybe it isn’t the death of the killer that will fill the huge gap in my life.
Has my life not gotten significantly better since Ezio, Casimir, and Julian walked into it? Even Yorick, who I haven’t known as long. Of course, I had my brother before that, but he was often doing his own thing, and I was left dealing with the loneliness that crept in and held me down. “You are the most persistent man I’ve ever met, and suddenly, you’re just… going to give up? You didn’t give up no matter what I did to you in the past, so why would you give up now?” And isn’t it selfish of me to ask that? But I can’t lose him. Even if it’s just as a friend, even if he truly never wants anything more, as long as he’s in my life, I think I’ll be able to keep moving forward.
“That’s because I liked everything you did to me,” he says.
“I was evil!”
“Maybe I liked it!”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have! And now that I’m being nice, you’re like, ‘Nah, not for me.’”
“No! No, I’m not. That’s not it.”
“You sure are. Is it that you only liked me when I was evil? But now that I’m half dead you’re like, ‘I can do better’?”
The smallest smile creeps up on Ezio’s face. “I like you no matter what form you show up in, whether it’s as a docile kitten or a raging dragon.”
“You have it bad,” I realize.
“Maybe.”
“Then you better show me just how bad you do have it.”
He perks up and I don’t realize why until I hear the sound of footsteps. Could I have heard them before? I don’t know if I could have, especially with all the noise in this place. People are coming in and out and there are patients on both sides of me, so the noise is quite loud.
The curtain draws back and Julian peeks in. “Okay for me to come in?”
