Page 19 of Dirty Doctor
“What did you think about? Where? When?” he says softly, his face inches from mine.
I shake my head. “I don’t know what you mean—”
“You do,” he growls, and I can smell his breath. See the flecks of light brown in his eyes. Twenty years as stepsiblings, and yet, I don’t think I’ve ever been this close to him. “Did you touch yourself?” he whispers, his voice pained.
My cheeks flame, and I feel both hot and cold as I try to get more oxygen inside of my lungs. The room begins to spin.
“Luke,” I whisper back, swallowing again.
“Did you think you could admit that last night and things would go back to normal?” he asks.
My eyes flutter closed. “You admitted it first—”
He trails a finger down the side of my face. I snap my eyes open, and he gives me a lascivious grin. “You want me to go first, then?” he asks, his eyes roving down my face to my chest and back up again. “Fine.” Taking a step back, he puts his hands in his pockets as his shirt hangs open.
Lord have mercy…
I try to look away from his abs, from the dips in his lower abdomen.
He’s beautiful. How did I never care before?
I cared, but he’s my stepbrother.
“I was seventeen the first time I thought about you in that way,” he whispers. “That was the first of many. It felt wrong at the time, but by the time you were an adult, I thought about you every time I came.”
A whoosh of air leaves my lungs. “Luke—”
“Do you think of me when you touch yourself, Langley?” He’s watching me, waiting for an answer.
I nod. “Sometimes.” Swallowing, I think about the times he flitted through my mind when I was alone, in bed, with my hand between my legs…
“Show me.”
My stomach drops. Of all the things he could’ve said, that was not the one I anticipated.
“Show you,” I repeat, my voice low. “How—”
“Get on the bed,” he says calmly, taking a step to the side. “Lie on your back. And show me.”
“Luke,” I warn, pushing off the wall and walking up to him. “This… Should we be doing this? I mean, what are we doing?”
Luke’s nostrils flare. “If you don’t want this—if you don’t want me—I need you to leave now,” he replies, his voice fragmented and rough. “Because last night opened a chasm for me—a large, gaping chasm with a need so great that I’m beside myself. Ten years, Langley. This is ten years of pent-up yearning. Ten years of wanting you. Never in a million years did I think I’d ever get the chance to have you. So, if you don’t want this as much as I do, then I’m going to need you to leave, because this isn’t going to be quick. Nor is it going to be gentle,” he growls, and the apex of my thighs throbs with need at his words.
Is this really happening? Is Lukeactuallysaying these wonderful, dirty things to me? How is it that we’ve known each other for so long, but never crossed this boundary?
Do I want this? I think I do—the throbbing between my legs tells me I do.
We don’t break eye contact for what feels like hours, though I know it’s only a minute. We’re both panting, both on the precipice of something we never thought would—or should—happen. But here we are. His dark irises bore into mine, and I don’t miss the way his fists clench and unclench at his sides. He’s like an animal, ready to unleash himself on me, and I realize with a start that all this time, he never hated me. It was just a front for wanting me.
And I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the same for me, too.
“What about our parents?” I ask, the question coming out softer than I intended. But it’s the only thing I can think about—the only thing keeping me from moving forward. I already know how I feel. But what will they think?
“Your mom married my dad,” he says slowly, running a hand over his jaw. “We are two consenting adults.”
“But what if we start this and then it doesn’t work out? How will we face each other at home?”
Luke laughs, and his features soften. “We never see each other, Langley. Nothing would change. We’d go back to pretending we hated each other.” Taking a couple steps forward, he reaches out and brushes a piece of hair out of my face. “Though, if I’m being honest, I can’t imagine ever wanting anyone as much as I want you. As much as I’ve always wanted you.”
