Page 59 of Say You Hate Me
“I’ll come by tomorrow and help you.” I back up a few steps, smiling. “I can take you to dinner when we finish.”
If I could bottle the shock and admiration on her face, I would—the way her lips part, the way her pupils dilate just so.
“Okay, sure,” she mutters. “After work.”
I nod, tipping my head in her direction. “Goodnight, Natalia.”
“’Night, Anderson,” she says, standing upright and giving me a rogue smile.
“Lock your door,” I add before climbing into my car. I wait until she’s inside before I pull out of the driveway of her duplex. As I head west on Moorpark, turning right onto Laurel Canyon, I have to steady my breathing, have to loosen my grip on the wheel before I snap it in half.
33
Natalia
I closethe door and turn around, nearly yelping as Kira watches me with raised eyebrows from the couch.
“Jesus, I didn’t see you there,” I say, clutching my throat and dropping my overnight bag onto the floor.
“Oh my god, you had sex,” Kira says bluntly, sipping a beer.
My eyes go wide. “You cannot possibly know that,” I state.
She shrugs and looks away. “I’m a Scorpio. We know shit.”
I laugh and walk into my room, changing into pajamas immediately. After I’m cozy in sweats, I walk into the kitchen for a beer, groaning when I sit. Everything hurts, but mostly my nether region—like I got kicked in the crotch.
“See,” Kira says, her eyes not leaving her phone. “We know shit,” she whispers.
I shake my head and smile, taking a large sip of beer. “Fine. I had sex with Anderson.”
“I knew it,” she mutters, scrolling.
“Twice.”
Her eyes snap to mine, and she gives me a devilish grin, clicking her bottle with mine.
“Nice job. He’s a fine specimen. I was watching you from the window just now. I didn’t realize he was so tall. He doesn’t look forty-three.” She props her legs underneath her and turns to face me. “How was it?” she adds, settling in.
I tilt my head. “You never ask me personal questions. What’s wrong with you?”
She sighs, leaning back. “I was thinking… while you’ve been gone in Hawaii, and then Napa… I kind of missed you. That’s all. I think it was the first time you ever left since we’ve lived together.” She shrugs. “Also, whydon’twe talk about personal shit?” Her large, green eyes are so earnest, I can’t help but laugh. “We’re friends, right?”
“Of course, we’re friends.”
“But I’ve never met your brother, and I didn’t realize that guy—the one who’s cat died—was still bothering you.” I open my mouth to reply, but she stops me. “I went to text you this weekend, and all of our texts involve woman-to-woman safety, like when you arrive somewhere, and bills. But… we’re always together. I just…” She sighs and looks away. “I’ve been kind of lonely.”
Her honesty blows me away. We’ve lived together for nearly four years—and she’s right. Most nights, we sit on the couch with wine, watching TV. But we’ve never really gone out together, except for a work event once three years ago. In fact, the only things I know about Kira are that she’s bi, she’s a nanny for a wealthy family in Toluca Lake, and she loves trashy TV, marinara sauce in the jar, and kettle corn. I could recreate her grocery list with my eyes closed, but I don’t know where she was born. It’s a strange mix of close aloofness.
“Well, let’s start now.” I smile and reach my hand out. “I’m Natalia. I have a twin brother, our parents died in a car crash when we were nineteen, I have never been in a serious relationship, I am obsessed with romance novels, I got my bachelor’s degree in marketing, and I’m half Italian.”
Kira grins. “I’m Kira. I’m an only child, born and raised in Van Nuys. My parents divorced when I was seven, and my dad ran away, so it’s just my mom there now. I was in one serious relationship with a woman in college, but it didn’t end well. I’m still licking my wounds. She broke my heart. I love reality TV dating shows, I hate tequila, and I’m half Irish, half German.”
“I didn’t know that about your parents,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s nice to actually talk and connect.”
Kira nods. “Yeah. I know you so well, but I don’t.” She pauses. “Now… tell me about the sex.”
I laugh, swatting her arm, and it’s then that I realize—I’ve needed this. I’ve needed a friend, someone to gossip with, someone to talk to when Luca was busy. I don’t think I realized how lonely I’ve been, lying in bed every night at eight-thirty, romance novel in hand. Something about the last week and a half has cracked me open, and I am suddenly hungry for real-life emotions, real-life situations—instead of reading about them. Losing my parents was so painful, but it also caused me to turn my emotions off.
