Page 19 of The Defense Rests
The look of anguish on his face is sending me mixed messages. What is happening right now?
"We need to take a break." His voice coming out more businesslike.
"What the actual fuck, Shaun?" My breathing is labored, and my anger is unexpected. Consent is important and I try to tame my libido. "Is this some kind of game to you?" Taming my temper is another thing entirely, apparently.
Before exiting the bedroom, Shaun turns to look at me. His brows knit in the middle like he’s confused at my outburst. "What are you talking about? Of course, this isn't a game. I just meant…oh, shit…Kai, no. Not a break like that. I'm not leaving. I just meant we needed to take a break from that," he points over to where I'm standing near the bed. "We need to talk before jumping right into bed."
Oh, well, that makes more sense, and now I feel silly for overreacting.And the Oscar for best performing actress in a naked-drama series goes to...me.
I reach down and slip my pajama pants on and follow him out to the living room. We sit down on the couch facing each other, and he begins telling me what he's looking for. Fine. We're looking for the same thing in the long term. I'm also not into casual hook-ups. I used to be, but they always left me feeling sort of empty.
"Before we have sex, we need to discuss limits. Typically, I would print out a checklist for partners to fill out, but it always feels like a business transaction. I want us to be more than that. I think we're mature enough to discuss boundaries and limits. For instance, blood and extreme pain are hard limits for both of us. I don't want to see you in any pain, and I definitely don't like receiving it. Not to yuck someone else's yum, it's just not for me. Also, I'm a doctor, so I'm more about healing and nurturing."
I nod my head. "I am not into pain play either, so we're both good on that front. I am okay with light spanking, but not to the point where my ass is on fire."
Shaun lets out an unexpected laugh, and I giggle along with him. "What about you? Hard limits?"
"I'm going to say bodily fluids in general. Just seems so unsanitary," I admit, and Shaun raises a brow. "What?" I ask curiously.
"Would that include not wetting your diaper?"
"Who says I wear diapers?" Shaun's face falls, and I swear that's disappointment I see. Does he want me to wear a diaper? Only one way to find out. "Is wearing a diaper something you want me to do?"
"Only if you want to." He says earnestly.
"Since I typically regress to a toddler and sometimes even deeper, diapers are okay with me. As long as you don't mind if Ihave an accident while playing or sleeping. I often get lost in the headspace."
"I enjoy taking care of you, and if that means getting you all cleaned up, then that's just part of Dada's job." He gives me a wide smile. Yep, he wants me to wet my diaper. Noted.
I feel my cheeks heat up.
"What are some things you're into?" I inquire. I want to make sure he feels good, too. I mean, we are both part of the kink community after all, and most of us have several kinks that go along with age play. "Any other kinks?"
"I know we aren't into pain play, but I have to admit I love seeing my mark on my partner. It's a way I feel like I claimed you as mine. Whether it be sucking a hickie into your skin or a bite mark." His gray-blue eyes blow into that storm cloud again, like he's ready to bite me and claim me.
"Claim me? What are you, a werewolf?" I tease.
"Yes. Just don't tell anyone."
"Your secret's safe with me. And yes. You can claim me." And I meant it. "Just not visible, so I can be professional in front of the judge. I don't want my character questioned in the courtroom."
"Understandable."
We spend the next few minutes discussing our limits, aligning ourselves with what we are willing to do or not do. My stomach flutters because I've been keeping a secret, not wanting to scare him.
"Um, there is something I enjoy. At least, I think I might enjoy. I haven't done it before fully; I've only done it a little. There's this thing…I sometimes–"
"Kai." Shaun's voice is deeper than usual, and the timber causes me to jerk my head his way. Where did that sound come from, and can he use it again? Preferably while we are naked. "Just tell me what it is and I will let you know if it's an issue."
I take a deep breath before blurting, "I like to be restrained."
Shaunblinksafewtimesbefore responding. "Like…bondage?"
I nod.
"Words, baby boy."
"Yes. Like I said. I haven't done it extensively, just experimented with it. During sex, I have tried to restrain my hands myself. None of my other partners were willing to try it." I tell him with sadness in my voice. Not that there have been many partners. I'm not sure if Shaun is open to trying it. "It's not a deal breaker either way. Just an interest."
