Page 43 of In the Middle of No(ah)where
"I know. But you're going to spend the rest of the day and night in middle space. You can have two hours of screen time before you eat dinner. After dinner, we can play a game, or youcan draw. I can even read you a story." I want him to know that I will take care of him and his needs for the rest of the day.
"You'll stay with me?"
"Of course I will. While you're showering and playing video games, I need to run to the zoo to feed the elephants, but it should only take a couple of hours. Barrett agreed to cover my morning shift so I could go with you to the college, but I need to do the later afternoon feeding." I tell him, grateful for my friendship with Barrett.
"Can I go with you?" He asks. Hopeful.
"You've had a busy day. Daddy wants you to rest and relax. I will pick up pizza for dinner on my way back. How does that sound?" I ask as I park in front of his apartment.
"Sounds perfect."
???
Lying in bed with Noah tucked under my arm and his head on my chest, I breathe and let the tension of the day leave my shoulders. I brush the hair off Noah's forehead and smile at his blitzed-out face. When Noah sat on my cock and took control, I was in another galaxy. I wonder if Noah will discover our sex galaxy while he's at the planetarium.
Noah's soft snores usually put me to sleep, but tonight, sleep becomes elusive. My mind recalls our campus tour and the anxiety of Noah navigating the campus alone. I know he will be fine, and I am confident that he will be successful. I just worry.
The rhythmic hum of the ceiling fan is starting to grate on my nerves.
When I first left for college, I put too much pressure on myself during freshman year. I would lose sleep over simple mistakes, missed deadlines, forgotten assignments, andthe overwhelming weight of expectations. All the things Noah worries about. It's not that way for everyone, and I didn't want him to worry if I shared my story with him. After that first semester, I figured out college life, and it was smooth sailing from then on.
But Noah has me, and I will move the heavens and the Earth to make sure my boy has what he needs to succeed. Even if I have to hold his hand while he walks into his first class. I smile at the thought of little Noah going to kindergarten for the first time. Did he experience the same anxieties back then as well?
Lying here wide awake, I think of ways to help Noah in this new chapter, not only as his boyfriend but also as his Daddy. I think of establishing a routine. I need to make sure that he schedules his classes on the days he's not working at Steamed. That way, his day isn't overloaded. Every morning, I can shoot him a text to saygood morning. A simple gesture that starts both of our days with a sense of connection when we aren't staying the night at each other's places. Before bed, we can talk on the phone or FaceTime. My primary goal for this first semester is to demonstrate to Noah that I'm supportive and present whenever he needs me.
These routines will become anchors in our relationship as Daddy and Middle, providing Noah with a sense of structure and stability.
Not able to think more about it, I close my eyes and feel the rise and fall of Noah's chest beside me, and finally succumb to sleep.
20
Noah
Wrapping up my first week as a college student is a bit terrifying—mainly because of the unknown. Initially, I find myself clinging to the familiar. I decided to check out the gaming club on campus, which meets once a week, hoping to find common ground with others who are also working on their degrees. I thought it would offer me comfort. That would be a big…fat…no. These are some hardcore gamers. When I walk into my first meeting, which I arrive thirty minutes late due to getting lost, a dozen people are looking through manuals and calling out codes to defeat whatever it is they're trying to beat on the large screen. Did I just walk into the middle of a top-secret military operation? After standing around for fifteen minutes observing and no one greeting me, I silently slipped out the same way I came in. It's so different from the times I regressed and played with my group of friends at the community center.
In my third week on campus, I decided to reach out to other LGBTQ+ students. There are a couple of groups on campus for social events, and I ended up joining the queer student alliance, finding a community of like-minded individuals who understand the complexities of navigating a world not always built for us. It's a space where I can be myself. I openly discuss my relationship with Marcus and feel closer to him by including him in this part of my life—college life. I never thought I would say that. I also discovered that I'm not alone in my academic struggles. Over the next couple ofweeks, others have shared similar challenges and triumphs with learning disabilities. The connections I've made provide a sense of belonging—a newfound support system that supplements Marcus' unwavering love.
Love?
It's not the first time I thought about thatLword when thinking of Marcus. I locate a bench just outside the student union. The cool autumn air whips by, and I pull my hood up over my head to block some of the breeze. I sit and think about the past few months and about this word that keeps popping up in my head when I think about him.
Do IloveMarcus?
He's always there for me. When I see him or hear from him, my heart pitter-patters in my chest. I think about him constantly, and when we have sex, it's like an extension of all the care we have for one another. He's everything. He tells me all the time, "You'remine,"in this way that claims ownership over me. We just finished a shifter book the other night in bed, and I wonder if he would claim me the way the alpha claimed his omega–bite my neck and leave a mark. I know I mentioned it during that first spanking session, but I haven't brought it up since. I'd love to wear his mark.
My feelings for Marcus have developed quickly, but I've likely been in love with him since the moment we met. His caring nature resonates deeply with me.
But does he feel the same way?
???
A month into my first semester of college, I feel the weight of it all becoming too much as I trek across campus to study for a while before my first exam. I find a spot in the campus library,and my brain is filled with random thoughts, making it difficult for me to think straight. Surrounded by other students chatting and laughing, they add to the chaos as my inner turmoil spikes. Tears well up in my eyes, a silent confession of defeat. A whisper of doubt that perhaps college–this grand adventure–has been a colossal mistake. What was I thinking about coming here? The pressure to perform, to keep up, to appear normal, feels suffocating.
I pull the cell out of my backpack while my thumb hovers over Marcus' contact. The urge to confess these struggles is almost overwhelming. I close my eyes and imagine Marcus' voice––his reassuring tone, the gentle encouragement that has become my anchor.
The weight of unshed tears press down on my eyelids.
"Hello? Noah. You there?" I hear Marcus' faint voice. I look around the room but don't see him. Did I imagine it? "Hello?" I glance down and realize my thumb is still pressed against the screen where I hit the call button on his contact.
