Page 4 of In the Middle of No(ah)where
When I scroll through a couple more vlogs on YouTube, the guy wearing a cute onesie with a pacifier clipped to it on the screen says something that resonates with me. "It's a way to escape. I don't have to worry about my adult problems because I know my daddy will be there to help me." Hold up. Wait. Is this really a thing? Could I have a daddy to help me navigate being an adult? My parents are no help. I know they love me and are there if I need them, but they act like I should have it all figured out since I'm eighteen now.
One video mentioned something about daddy issues, and that doesn't resonate with me either. My dad and I aren't best friends, but he's always been there when I've had issues at school or needed advice about something. We just don't see eye-to-eye on the gay issue. After cutting myself, it came out, and I was ready to let the chips fall as they might. I was prepared to spend the last two years of school in foster homes, but my parentshugged me. Dad apologized, but it was more out of fear of losing me than what he said.
They know I'm gay, but we don't talk about it. I've also made a point to never mention any boy's name around them. It's unfortunate to have to be this secretive in my own home, but that's just the way it is.
I watched a few more videos, and they mirror what the last one said about it being a form of escape. They get into something called a little mindset and can relax knowing they are taken care of. What would that feel like? However, the idea of wearing a diaper to escape still doesn't resonate with me. Besides, I'm not really a twink. Would Daddies want someone small and tiny? My mind recalls the guy from the last video. He wasn't small. In fact, he was older than his daddy. How does that work?
So many questions.
Google helps some. It seems like age play is about age regression and caregiving. Some have mommies, and some have daddies. It really depends on preference. One article said that it can be nonsexual, while others enjoy the sexual element. So…a daddy's role is to take care of his little. The younger guy in the video appears to have caretaking tendencies and enjoys caring for the other individual, who seems to enjoy being cared for. Actual age doesn't matter.
Yep, this whole age play thing is clear as mud.
What I find fascinating is that someone can regress to various ages. All the ones I've been watching have regressed to toddler age. Chicken nuggies––not nuggets––especially the ones in the shape of dinosaurs, and sippy cups were a common theme among them.
I close my laptop and lie back on my bed, feeling a bit overwhelmed with a world I didn't even know existed.
Is this something I'm even interested in exploring?
I reach over and grab my Switch from the nightstand. Once it's powered up, I let out a deep sigh and try to forget about the playdate flier.
???
"I'm so glad you got the job," Caleb tells me as I walk through the door at Steamed. The shop isn't open yet, and he's getting things set up behind the counter. A woman with long brunette hair comes through the swinging doors.
"Jessie, this is Noah." Caleb introduces her.
"The new guy?" I nod at Jessie's question. "Carlie said she had a newbie starting this morning. Welcome aboard," she tells me while carrying the tray of pastries to the display case.
"Thanks," I tell her while making my way up to the counter.
"Carlie, the newbie's here!" Jessie yells out, and I roll my eyes at her smirk.
"You'll get used to it," Caleb says while stacking more cups onto the pile. The gleam in his eyes while stacking cups reminds me of the guys in the videos who were stacking blocks. I try to shake the image out of my mind.
"Noah, glad you made it in. Come on back, and I'll set you up with your training." Carlie guides me to a small table with a laptop sitting on it. "Would you like some coffee? Something to eat?" She offers.
"I'm okay right now," I tell her.
"There are some bottles of water and juice boxes in the staff fridge if you get thirsty. Or, you can ask Caleb or Jessie, and they can make you a cup of coffee. It's one of the perks of working here. Free drinks." She winks and points to a vintage-looking refrigerator on the back wall.
Once I'm signed in, she apologizes ahead of time for how boring it will be. She was right. These videos are boring. Primarily safety-related, but then there is a series of short videos that provide a good foundation on how to make some of the shops' more popular drinks.
I think I'll get the hang of things pretty quickly.
I spend the rest of the day shadowing Caleb and Jessie, which is strange because Caleb is a newbie, too, since he's only been working here a few days longer than me. Essentially, we're both shadowing Jessie, and Carlie steps in to help out when the line gets a little busier.
At the end of our shift, Caleb and I scan our badges simultaneously to clock out.
"It was great seeing you again," Caleb says as we make our way through the shop to the front door.
"You, too. I think I'll like it here once I get the hang of things." I tell him.
"You picked up things fast. I'm sure you'll do fine."
"Thanks."
Caleb holds the door for me, and I exit onto the sidewalk. "Um, would you like to switch numbers, just in case something comes up?" He asks me with his head hanging down. This guy needs a little more confidence.
