Page 58 of Curtain Call
Mac: “Of course.”
Riley wants nothing more than to see Colin, but he wants to get healthier first. He needs to prove to himself that he is going to be OK. It’s not the time for rekindling a friendship or relationship with Colin. Especially since his last words to him were to, how did he put it?To fuck off.
Riley: “I can’t wait to see you, but I really need to go. I only have a few minutes left and I want to call my parents.
Mac: “I was your first call?”
Riley: “Technically,” Riley draws out that last vowel sound.
Mac: “What do you mean, technically?” Mac repeats the same extended sound with sarcasm.
Riley: “Not important. I really do need to run.”
Mac: “I know. I’ll see you next weekend.”
Riley: “Thanks, MacKenzie. For everything,” his voice solemn
Mac: “Love you, Rye.”
Riley: “Love you too.”
Riley hangs up the phone and sits quietly in the little booth. Leaning his head back against the wall, he can no longer hold back the tears that were building up on the other side of his eyes. The dam holding them in place broke, and the droplets slid down his cheeks. He doesn’t bother wiping them away. Nobody is in line waiting for the phone, so he seizes the moment to just sit in silence and wonder how he got to this place.
Journal Entry
January 19th,
I was a mess today. Emotional. It was the first day I was allowed phone privileges. I’m not sure if it was talking to Mac this morning, or the fact that I wanted to talk to Colin. I know I have to be strong and do this on my own, but I thought if I could hear his voice it would give me a little strength to keep moving forward. There is so much I need to tell him.
Like, last month feels like a dream. Was it real? Was any of it? When I close my eyes, he is there next to me. At the theater, in the pub, and walking through museums. He is with me at my audition. But when I open my eyes, nothing. He’s not there. I wonder, how am I ever gonna let him go? Can we find a way out of this mess I created? My chest feels like it’s going to explode most of the time.
When I called, it went to his voicemail. Was he screening the call? Did he not answer because it was an unknown number? Hearing his voice in the message filled my heart with so much emotion. It was also a little bit of a relief because I don’t think I was ready to actually say all the things I needed to say. Not yet. When I hung up, my body ached and all I could think to do was to call Mac. I thought talking to her would help me feel a little bit closer to him.
Riley closes the notebook and locks it away in his wardrobe. He sits on the edge of the bed and thinks back on some of the things Dr. Rick has told him in previous sessions. He is trying to think of food in a different context. He needs to eat to live, not live to eat. Making smart food choices that will be beneficial to his growth and overall health may be a good start.
Riley walks out of his room and into the hall. There, on the wall, is a full-length mirror outside his door and Riley stares into it. He looks for traces of the Riley he knew before this. He is starting to find him again. His eyes are brighter today. He grins at himself knowing that he didn’t get here overnight, and he can’t fix this overnight either.
Riley turns and walks down the hall passing the rec room where a few guys are playing pool and one is lying on the couch with his legs flung over the arm while reading a copy of the Hunger Games. Riley isn’t feeling very sociable and just wants to be alone for a while. He decides to try something a little unconventional for himself.
He turns the corner at the end of the hall and outside the café is a snack cart. Riley stands and stares at it as if it will attack him at any minute. Will he feel guilty if he grabs something? There is only one way to find out. Scanning the items, Riley grabs a banana from the top shelf before escaping to the courtyard for some fresh air, and maybe a treat.
Scene 6
January 25th
Riley
“I can’t believe you’re here,” Riley whispers into Mac’s ear while his nose is buried in her brown curls. His arms wrapped around her tightly as if letting go of this hug wouldn’t make it real.
Mac pulls back a little, takes him by his hands, and investigates his face.
“You look well,” she tells him before pulling him into another hug.
Riley lets her hold on as long as she needs. He needs this too. It feels like a lifetime ago but, it’s only been a month.
Riley guides Mac through a side door leading to a visitor’s lounge. The furniture in the space is plush and cozy. The fabric is a deep blue with brightly colored throw pillows. Art from local artisans decorates the room. A family was exiting past them as they entered the quiet space. Just the two of them. Riley props himself up on the couch with Mac tucked into his side, feet curled underneath her. They sit for a moment in silence just being in each other’s presence.
“So, tell me what’s new with you,” Riley finally breaks the silence. “How are things with Jax?”
