Page 75 of You Weren't Meant to Be Human
“It’s been a bad few years,” Jess says. “He can tell you about it when he’s safe.”
“Okay,” Mom says. “Okay.”
Mom and Dad write their number on a napkin and the grease pencil taken from Levi’s truck, and Crane tucks it into a pocket of the coat. They kiss his face and squeeze his hands.
“We missed you,” Dad says.
“We love you,” Mom says. “Whatever happened, we can fix it.”
They do not want to leave, but Jess points a look toward the road, like she thinks Levi is out there and might arrive any minute.
Crane whispers, voice raspy, “Bye.”
Mom whispers back, “Bye, baby.”
And then they’re gone. They’re in the car and driving away. The snow fills up the tracks in moments, and they disappear into the haze.
Jess says, “Jesus Christ.”
No more delays. No more wasting time. Crane points to the truck, can feel another contraction coming on. If Jess is going to leave, she needs to leave now.
When she doesn’t move, he grunts. Pulls the blanket off his shoulders and starts the process of folding it up tight. It’ll fit into the go bag, he thinks. He glares at her the whole time.Leave.
“I feel bad,” she says.
Crane doesn’t budge.
She groans, frustrated, then grabs Crane’s face and kisses the corner of his mouth. Her teeth chatter.
“You gonna be okay?” she says.
He nods. He’ll be more than okay.
He’s going to do something he promised he’d do a long time ago.
Thirty-One
I was about to come get you,” Tammy says as soon as the back door slams shut. “Lord, you’re freezing. Where’s Jess?”
Crane drops the stuffed-full go bag just inside the door.
Levi and Stagger have situated themselves by the hive, the shotgun leaning against the wall; both of them have taken off their shoes so as not to mess up the nest that Jess had so carefully built. It’s in a horrible, voyeuristic place. Right in the doorway to the closet so the worms and the flies can see it all. It makes the wordchildbirthfeel less accurate than an emotionless, unhuman alternative:parturition, or, why not, let’s use the word that’s really lodged in his head,whelpinglike a fucking dog.
Tammy says, “Jess, boy. Where is she?”
Crane does not answer. He watched Jess climb up into the truck, adjust the seat, and fumble with the key. She’s pulled out of the parking lot by now. On her way gone. To wherever. California. Somewhere a hive won’t find her.
And his parents, they’re gone too. He keeps thinking about them. Mom let herself go gray; is that because he said he liked it gray years ago? Is Dad using the same aftershave so Crane would recognize his father by smell?
He can’t help it. He sniffles, wipes his eyes, tries to pretend he’s not crying. The pain, the adrenaline. Therealizationof it all.
It’ll be over soon. He just has to be able to do it.
“Shit,” Tammy growls, gathering him close. She’s watching Levi, and for a terrible second Crane thinks she’s going to tell, but she doesn’t. “Okay. Okay. Let’s get this baby out of you.”
After the cold of outside, it’s too hot in here. Crane is sweating. His clothes stick to him. He’s wrestling out of Levi’s jacket as Tammy walks him to the blankets and towels laid out on the floor, as Levi catches him by the elbows and helps him down. In the nest, he shucks his bra and fumbles to kick off his pants. He’s burning up and making a low animal noise in the back of his throat.
“Easy,” Levi chides. Stagger whines with concern, settling onto the floor to brace Crane against him. “Easy now.”
