Page 80 of Puck to the Heart
She was angry onmybehalf.
Obviously, she was angry for herself, but her defense of me was… Well, it made me want to be all those things she thought I was and… more. I wasn’t sure I deserved it.
The grip of her fingers on my arm and the trembling in her body broadcast exactly how difficult it was for her to stand up to Alex, but her face didn’t show it. Pride washed through me; her glare didn’t waver as Alex walked away without another word.
Olivia marched the final blocks to the diner like she might break down if she spoke. I navigated seating and ordering, watching her mental gears spinning the whole time. When she let out a breath heavy enough to move a mountain, I slid a glass of water closer to her.
“Did that just happen?” she asked.
“You were amazing, Barnes.” She always was. I was on the verge of telling her when she spoke again.
“Oh, God.” Carding her fingers through the ends of her ponytail didn’t seem to calm her, and I reached out to grasp her hand before she started pulling harder on the strands.
“I wish you could’ve seen yourself. You wereterrifying. Remind me to never piss you off.”
“You could never, Ash. Not like him.” Thick and choked up, her voice caught in her throat.
My heart swelled, and a thought flitted across my mind, gone before I was able to voice it. Another, harsher one screaming louder. “Iwouldnever.”
Slowly, I stirred my coffee, tracking the cream’s outward swirl to dilute the dark brown into a lighter tan. Seeing the fans at the hotel left me on edge, but seeing Olivia’s ex… even with him gone, the urge to fight sang in my blood. I braced for a punch when we saw Alex, but after the blow didn’t fall, I still had my fists up. Eager to change the subject, I asked, “Do you know when you’ll come back home?”
“Home? I am—you mean Portland.”
Did her eyes flit away, or did I imagine it? “Yeah. Portland. Where we live.”
“I… don’t know.”
“Coach won’t mind if you fly back with us. I know he acts all grumpy, but I think he secretly liked having you around.”
“No, Ash.” Olivia’s spoon swirled in her mug, making tight, precise circles in the liquid. “It’s not about the flight. Well, notjustabout the flight.”
“What is it about, then?” When sharp pain erupted in my palm, I looked down to find my hand clenched into a fist around my spoon so tightly it dug into my skin.
She sighed. “I’m still not sure when I’m coming back.”
“You’re not… what do you mean?” Ice replaced blood in my veins when she still didn’t meet my eyes.
“With Dad moving out of the facility early, he needs to find a new place. I don’t know how we’re going to move him out of the townhouse because he can’t manage those steps now. He’s still not up to moving out on his own. Plus, the lease is up for my apartment soon. And now that I don’t have a job…” The unsaid words hung between us.
Now that I don’t have a job, there’s no reason to stay.
“Can’t you find another job?” I knew how selfish it was, but I needed her as much as her father did.
A snort she tried to disguise as a cough interrupted her steady stirring. “When was the last time you had to hunt for a job?” Gently said, her words still hit a sore spot.
“You could stay with me. Until you found a place.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You don’thaveto get a job. Lots of the wives and girlfriends don’t.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were the wrong thing to say.
Audible grinding came from her molars, and her spoon hit the side of her mug with a loud clink. “I spentyearsgetting my degree. I am not throwing so much time and effort andmoneyaway. I already feel like a failure. I wanted tohelppeople, not be some corporate shill. And I can’t even dothatproperly.” With a loud clink she dropped the spoon, wincing at the sound.
Around us, people went on with their lives, eating breakfast and drinking coffee, not noticing or caring about the death of something beautiful and new and fragile right in their midst.
Familiar creases formed between Olivia’s brows, but for the first time, I didn’t know how to help them go away. “I didn’t mean?—”
She cut me off, “It doesn’t matter. You don’t understand.”
