Page 11 of Sliding Into Love
“Do you want to sit? The view is good here.” Was his voice always so croaky?
Ivy nodded, folding to sit beside him, but leaving a healthy distance between them, he noted. Then she folded her legs and placed the little girl in her lap. Jase glanced between Ivy and Ethan, and without letting himself consider the consequences, Ethan patted the grass on his left. Jase’s eyes widened, but he sat.
If Marshall saw him with them, there’d be hell to pay. But maybe he could get away with it. Just this once. He’d dressed incognito on purpose, to avoid fans and the coach.
Jase offered Ethan a shy smile, then tugged his knees to his chest as he turned his face skyward.
Time shifted, and it was like looking at himself at that age, a dark-haired boy with his hat shoved back on his head, feeling the booming shots in his bones, sitting so close to the lit-up sky he imagined if he reached out, his fingertips might brush the stars. Awe wreathed Jase’s face, and Ethan’s chest ached for days past. When he’d been so young and in love with the game. Nothing to worry about, no pressure.
Ethan fell back into the grass, exhausted, and let himself enjoy the show. After a few minutes, a round face appeared in front of his, and Ethan started at the little girl’s closeness.
“Why are you on the ground?”
“Umm. I like to watch the fireworks.”
“They’re too loud.” Janna’s face scrunched up; her hands pressed firmly to her ears.
“Can I?” he asked Ivy, to be sure it was okay. She angled her head and furrowed her brows but nodded. “Do you think this will help?” He held out his hands to Janna and mimicked putting his hands over hers without touching her.
Janna looked thoughtful for a moment, then grabbed his wrists in her hands and clapped his palms over her ears. Her grin lit her whole face as she looked up. Joy radiated from her, and if he didn’t exactly feel the same, he at least appreciated how much fun she was having, and he was glad to share the experience with the three of them. Ethan glanced at Ivy before turning his attention back to the show, and her expression was confused and intrigued, before she, too, looked up.
When the lights came on, Ethan dropped his hands from Janna’s ears and turned to Ivy, who was standing to leave.
“Do you want to come to the game tomorrow?” Maybe it was loneliness, wanting to see them again; maybe he just wanted to give the kids something special, maybe it was both. His heart pounded in his throat as he waited for her answer.
Ivy glanced at him, perplexed.
“I have tickets. And if you come early, you can come to the pre-game warmup. If—if you want.”
“Can we, Ivy?” Jase’s voice sounded small, trying to hide his hope in case Ivy said no.
“That would be nice.” A wide smile split Ivy’s face, and it outshone the stadium lights.
Panic set in the next morning when Ethan woke and remembered he’d invited Ivy and Jase to the stadium. If Marshall had a problem, Ethan would play it off somehow. For public engagement or social media. Something.
It was all for the kid, he told himself. It was definitely not about seeing Ivy again.
It was sad, Ethan thought, how excited he was. For Ethan, so many firsts, like watching his first game, happened when he was too young to remember, and after a while, he didn’t get excited by those things the way most kids would have. Eventually, he’d lost all the joy in the game.
Ethan’s shoulders tightened at the thought of his childhood and his parents, but he was glad for the opportunity to show Jase how the game should be.
Nervous, excited energy spread through him as his mind cataloged what to teach the kid about technique, to help Jase figure out which position he’d play if he joined Little League.
Putting thoughts of Ivy out of his mind, Ethan focused instead on the third and final game against the Tornadoes. While he sautéed peppers and onions for his daily omelet, Ethan tried to block out what Marshall wouldn’t let him forget.
The outcome of this game is entirely on me. Every mistake is my fault becauseIam leading this team. We only win ifIam good enough.
With those words on repeat in his head, Ethan finished cooking and scarfed down his food before showering. As the hot water poured over him, burning his skin, he allowed his body to sag under the spray, trying to ignore the ache in his chest. The cool bite of eucalyptus and mint shampoo on his scalp broke him out of the loop in his head, and he wondered fleetingly if Ivy would like the scent. If it would smell differently on her if she used it after—
But no. Ethan shoved all thoughts of Ivy aside.
Besides, he wouldn’t allow himself to focus on anything but winning this game. And the next. And this season. And the next.
Ethan sighed, turning up the water temperature until it was just on the wrong side of unbearable.
After a few moments’ thought, he decided to fully shave for the first time in years. Normally, he hated the process; staring at himself so long in the mirror left him too unsettled. But Derek said Jase was skittish and shy, and the deep shadow across his cheeks and jaw gave him an air of intensity. The last thing Ethan wanted was to come across that way, so the scruff had to go. As he went through the motions, he let his eyes track the movements of his hands, following the path of the razor through the white froth on his face rather than meeting his own eyes. Would Ivy notice the difference? How would it feel for her fingers to trace across the newly revealed skin?
Shit. He was doing it again.
