Page 75 of Longing for Liberty
“Shit, Libby,” he whispered. “My head is so…” Again, he grabbed the top of his head, and I quickly grasped his other hand. We both squeezed.
“I know,” I told him. “Jer, please, we have to stay strong. Don’t let them harden you against me. I can’t handle—” A tear fell as my voice broke, and I lowered my chin. I couldn’t wipe it away. People from afar would see that as a sign of crying.
“Use my sleeve,” he whispered. I turned my head and leaned my face into his arm, letting the cotton soak up my fallen tears.
A whirringbuzzstarted up, and we both groaned at the same time.
“Just keep looking down,” he whispered.
I plucked a few weeds that had barely begun to show. When the drone sounded close, I said, “I’ll chop it fine and cook it in oil and butter the way you like with some ground beef. Maybe some carrot, too.”
“My favorite,” he said, and I nearly giggled at his fake happiness, like a kid in a commercial. The moment healed my brokenness from the kitchen earlier, and I breathed deeply before looking up again when the drone was gone.
“I need you or Rebecca to get me a thumb drive.”
His jaw tensed as his teeth clenched. I waited for him to tell me no, that it was too dangerous, but his Adam’s apple bobbed with a swallow, and he nodded.
“Rebecca is already looking. I’ll ask around too.”
We both stood, and I brushed off my hands.
I bit my lip, thinking about something but not wanting to say it out loud.
“What are you thinking?” he asked. Because of course he noticed.
“I’m worried that he’s going to make me stay there more, now that the ice is broken or whatever. I need you to know that’s not what I want.”
“Libby, I do know that. Deep down.” He took my hand. “I’m sorry for how I acted.”
“We’re only human,” I said. “And this is really hard. I’m also worried about who I can relay information to if I can’t see you or Rebecca.”
He nodded. “I’ll look into that too.”
When we looked at each other again, we gravitated closer, almost touching, and Jeremy whispered low, “God, I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” I whispered.
His eyes raised and scanned the garden, then he grabbed my hips and yanked me forward against him, making me gasp. I felt his body reacting to mine, and heat rushed to my core. His forehead touched mine as his eyes drifted shut.
“Jeremy—”
“I want to kill him,” he said.
I rubbed my hands up his arms, letting myself enjoy the feel of him for one more second before pushing away and looking him in the eye. “I know.”
“I can’t believe you met Roan,” he said, sounding like he was just now processing the whole story I’d told. “What was he like?”
“He’s a sociopath,” I said without hesitation. “Dark energy. Very untrusting.” And a pervert. Somehow, that one moment when I’d seen his nakedness had been the most obscene and raunchy moment of my entire life. Not because I’d seen the president’s penis. But because of the sinister look in his eyes. He was deviant in ways I did not want to know.
Jeremy looked up, and I followed his gaze to the two State Force that had just turned the corner. He stepped away from me and said, “Let’s go home.”
Home. Our tiny, ugly apartment where we couldn’t touch or speak our minds, but we could at least be comfortable in each other’s quiet presence. I’d take it.
THIRTY-FOUR
STATE NEWS: SECRETARY FITZHUGH’S WIFE PREGNANT!
It happened fasterthan I’d anticipated.
