Page 39 of Longing for Liberty
He looked down at my body, still arching toward him, and took a hand out of his pocket to run a thumb slowly around one of my areolas, making my nipples even harder as my chest rose and fell rapidly. Then he looked into my eyes.
“Thank you for finally being honest. Have a good night, Liberty.”
Amos Fitzhugh walked away from me to his bedroom and closed the door. I stood there, shocked, staring around like a dumbass, realizing I was standing in the middle of his hallway naked. And alone. Because he wasn’t going to fuck me. I wrapped my arms around my waist. What was going on?
This man was toying with me! The son of a bitch. Punishing me.
I quickly snatched up my uniform and re-dressed, shaking, my core throbbing as I silently cursed him, feeling foolish and wanting to laugh at the same time.
Was he really not coming back out? I heard the shower start, and I moved into the kitchen to start his dinner. I had literally never felt more discombobulated. Finishing all of my duties, I left his dinner in the microwave and practically ran from the penthouse, my cheeks still hot. What the hell had I gotten myself into?
* * *
HoldingJeremy’s hand that evening as we walked around the garden, I felt a disconnect between us that hurt my heart. We’d barely looked at each other since we’d gotten home…or rather, I’d barely looked at him, and I think he knew what that meant. Feeling him mentally pull away was like a physical blow.
Was he mad at me? Would he ever be able to see me the same way as before? Would he grow to resent me? I swallowed several times, having a hard time keeping my emotions at bay. Jeremy squeezed my hand, the first sign of life in a very long hour.
“I love you, Lib.”
That made me suck in a stilted breath, my eyes burning.
“I love you too,” I whispered, lowering my head to wipe my eyes.
“I want to ask,” he said. “But I’m not going to. It’s like…I want to know, but I don’t. I really don’t. Don’t tell me.” He was squeezing my hand hard. I nodded and kept nodding because I understood.
When I finally had my emotions under control, I told him the little I’d learned.
“That’s probably not helpful,” I said.
“Every bit is helpful. It’s like puzzle pieces. Even random details help us see a bigger picture.”
Us. The resistance. It freaked me out all over again to think about what Jeremy was involved in. And now me. I wanted to tell him what had happened that morning with Mrs. Durgess, but another couple waved at us, and we needed to go play nice.
He would probably be terrified to know I’d lied to Fitzhugh in such a brazen way. It had been a huge risk, and I was lucky it panned out. Jeremy had enough to worry about. Keeping our sanity right now was the most important thing. Jeremy was a saint in most cases, but even he had his limits, and I didn’t want to see him break. For the first time in our marriage, there were parts of myself and my life I would not be sharing with him.
* * *
That night,my husband and I made love, and as we finished together, tears streamed from my eyes into my hair. Jeremy kissed my eyes and wiped my face, pulling me close and holding me tightly. I prayed nothing could tear us apart, but I knew what was to come would hurt like hell.
SEVENTEEN
STATE NEWS: PRESIDENT ROAN’S WIFE GIVES BIRTH TO BABY NUMBER EIGHT!
I felt bizarrelycalm at the penthouse the next day. Calm, but not comfortable—I could never let myself get comfortable. He wasn’t there in the morning, so I worked swiftly. I ate my breakfast, and I was able to eat more in one sitting than before.
Amos Fitzhugh came home after lunch and acknowledged me with little more than a nod before setting up his laptop on the dining table. I wondered how many perfectly tailored navy blue suits he owned. His closet was full of pressed dress shirts in white, cream, light blue, and light gray. And of course an assortment of ties and shiny shoes.
I had just finished eating when I felt him staring and made eye contact. He jutted his head to the side, beckoning me. My nerves immediately went on the fritz as I set everything in the sink and made my way to his side.
“Yes, sir?”
“Come stand on this side of me and face the table.”
What the…?
I went around him to his right side and did as he said. He moved me over another inch.
“Now place your palms down on the table.”
