Page 35 of Longing for Liberty
I ran my hands from his elbows down to his hands and twined my fingers inside of his.
“Trust me,” I said. “If I sense anything strange, any intuition, no matter how small, I will distance myself. But if I’m forced to be there and they’re going to talk in front of me, why shouldn’t I tell you what they say?”
His rounded eyes turned toward the garden, and his jaw flexed again before he finally nodded. “Okay, Lib. Tell me everything you heard.”
FOURTEEN
STATE NEWS: STATE FORCEMAN GETS MEDAL FOR SAVING DROWNING GIRL!
I usually enjoyed harvest days.They were something different. A change from the mundane. And while the women around me laughed and chatted, Rebecca and I worked in silence side by side. We lingered next to a tree that was picked over for a moment longer than was necessary.
“Jeremy told me,” she murmured under her breath as she turned an apple over in her hand that was rotted on one side.
My heart jumped. When did they have a chance to talk? It had to be early this morning. I gave a small nod as I plucked an undersized apple that had inverted and grown deformed.
“Do you know about the two Dutch sisters during World War Two?” she asked.
“No,” I whispered, barely moving my lips.
She paused, peering through the trees as if looking for more apples. “They seduced nazis…lured them into the woods to have sex and then shot them.”
Holy shit. The breath in my lungs stuttered.
“Their means were unconventional, but they were still heroes. What you’re doing is brave.”
I blinked away the burn in my eyes and swallowed hard, overcome by the gravity of it all. I didn’t feel like a hero. I doubted those Dutch sisters were turned on by the men they lured.
“Please be careful,” she whispered. I gave another small nod.
We moved around the tree to join the others, and I saw a lady, Mrs. Durgess, eyeing us, narrowing her gaze as she looked at Rebecca.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it, Mrs. Durgess?” Rebecca said to the woman. I nearly snorted in reaction as the woman reared back with a scowl and looked away, but nervousness tugged inside my stomach. Was this lady going to be a problem?
Rebecca and I kept lame smiles on our faces. Rebecca must have been thinking something similar because she slowly worked her way over to a different group away from the lady. By the end of the day, my arms and legs were tired from plucking and carrying bags to the men stationed at tables to count and divide. Jeremy caught me looking at him, admiring how cute he was while he joked with the guys, his forearms taut as he moved bags along. He gave me a half-grin that sent flutters through me.
Knowing he was part of a resistance filled me with simultaneous terror and thrill. I wanted to hold him closer than ever. To shield him from danger even as I cheered him on. I’d barely been able to sleep last night after learning everything. I’d been riddled with flashback dreams. For six years the phoenix in my soul had been a pile of ashes, its only hope lying deep underneath in a tiny, undetectable spark. And last night it had started to smoke.
Could I really do this?
I mean, Ihadto. But I didn’t have to feel like someone’s helpless prey…I could let myself feel like the hunter. It wasn’t a natural feeling for me. It would take some getting used to. I had to allow myself to slowly embrace the idea.
I followed the other women and sat in the grass to rest. My mind spun, and I tried not to get that faraway look. But Rebecca’s story about the Dutch sisters was running like a film, imagining such an act. I would only be gathering information, not killing anyone. And then my mind’s eye zeroed in on Fitzhugh’s gun. My heart began to pump too hard. If I could do like the sisters, seduce him, get my hands on his gun…and kill the Secretary…then what? Even if I fled, I would be found and killed. Jeremy would be killed, probably tortured first. The resistance might be outed. And another man would be raised into the Secretary of Arms position. It would change nothing. I was betting it wouldn’t even be told in the news. They wouldn’t want other workers getting ideas.
Okay, so it wasn’t my job to kill anyone. Just to get information. I could do that.
A murmur of raised voices had me looking around and glancing in the direction everyone was pointing. From the entrance of our neighborhood, about ten State Force in full weaponry were headed toward all of us with two drones following like overgrown metal mosquitoes. My stomach flipped at the display of power. People began to shuffle, looking for their partners. My heart went into my throat as I jumped up and rushed around the table, finding Jeremy’s hand outstretched and waiting to pull me to his side. Everyone waited, the air thick with fear like a stale odor.
Oh, God. Did they know about Jeremy and Rebecca in the resistance? Or Rebecca and Stanley’s lavender marriage?
The forcemen stopped at the edge of the grass, spreading out down the line. One soldier stepped forward. His eyes scanned the faces, and I swear he paused on me and Jeremy. My knees felt liquid, and I held on tighter.
“Jana Zimmerman!”
A pitiful sound was made by an older woman nearby, and my fear suddenly deflated, leaving me with guilt for being relieved.
The military men honed in on the woman as we all looked at her. What had she supposedly done? She shook her head, looking around at us with pleading eyes.
“I didn’t do anything. I swear!”
