Page 57 of Longing for Liberty
I had to stay numb if I wanted to keep going, but the phoenix ashes of my soul were stirring with something dark and powerful, something that scared me. Because I’d always been a peaceful person. But as I watched a woman swing by her neck, and I thought about everyone trapped in Hawaii, and everyone in Community Five who’d been separated and treated like animals, two wings slowly lifted, bowed protectively at first, and then opened into something formidable. They shook off the ash to reveal colors so bright and vibrant I wanted to cry.
My beautiful wings of rage and rebellion.
* * *
I lieawake in bed with Jeremy curled around me that night. I could tell by his breathing he was still awake, and I was certain he felt my own wakeful tension. Neither of us asked the other if we were okay. We weren’t.
Fitzhugh’s words from today came back to me:I’m preparing your body for me.
The rage and rebellion were still there, too close to the surface, sending a tingle over my skin. I still hadn’t figured out the Secretary’s true motives, or if he had any sympathies for the people. But even if he was secretly against the OM in any way, he still represented the State. He still represented everything that was taken from us. We had so few choices.
I wondered when he would consider my body ready for him. What if it were tomorrow? A sensation of wrongness and unfairness zinged through me. I didn’t belong to the State. My body was mine, no matter how much they saw it as theirs. My heart began to bang in an urgent panic, like I was running out of time and needed to hurry. I rolled to face Jeremy, putting one hand behind his neck.
I saw the whites of his eyes in the moonlight. His strong hand went to my waist and held me.
“I want to do something with you,” I said. And before he could answer, I kissed him.
He must have sensed my urgency, because he yanked my body to his and rolled on top of me, pushing between my legs and pressing our cores together through our underwear as we kissed. We pushed our clothes down until he was naked and I was only in my thin nightgown.
Before we could do anything else, a sound from outside had us falling side by side and pretending to sleep just in time for the bright light to shine into our room. Jeremy and I would not be giving anyone a free show.
Four beats later, the light was gone, and I heard the men shuffle away. We lay there very still for a moment longer before I reached for him again, and he moved right back on top of me.
“Something different,” I whispered.
“Huh?”
I moved my mouth to his ear. “I want to do something different.”
“Okay?”
I gently pushed him off me and moved to my side, motioning him to move closer. He spooned me from behind and began to feel for me, but I whispered, “No.” And I reached between us. I took him in my hand and swirled the head shallowly into my pussy to get it slick. Then I let go for a moment to wet my fingers with my mouth and move them to my backside. When I reached for him again and moved the head of his cock to my other entrance, he stiffened.
“Really?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “Go slow.”
He let me hold him in place as he gently pushed, then pulled back a little when I sucked in a breath of discomfort. I pushed my hips back to show him he could keep going. Little by little, he moved until the entire head was inside of me, and we both gasped.
“Libby…”
“Yes, baby,” I whispered back. “I want it.”
He added more saliva, and we continued to move slowly, both of us feverish with want as the new sensations took over. I moaned when he was all the way inside of me, his hips pressed to the softness of my ass. He slowly moved in and out, reaching under my shift to gently squeeze one of my breasts. I could feel him holding back, and I wanted him to break loose.
“More,” I urged.
Jeremy flipped me to my stomach without pulling all the way out, and I moved to my hands and knees. He plunged deeper, both of us crying out. When he knew I was okay, he began to thrust into me over and over, hard. Harder. Faster. Our bodies slapped. I rocked back into his movements, slamming us together. This was what I needed. And though I didn’t think it was possible after all of the sex I’d had that day, the tension in my core began to build again.
“Jer, yes! Don’t stop…” A deep moan rose from my throat, and I reached for my bundle of nerves, circling the pad of my fingers hard against myself as I shattered, falling to my belly while I cried out.
Jeremy held himself up behind me as he gave a vicious grunt and pressed hard into my ass, filling me in waves.
He collapsed on top of me and we lay together like that, breathing hard, his face in the crook of my neck. Finally, he kissed my shoulder where the fabric of my nightgown had shifted, and he spoke.
“Want to shower?”
“Yeah.”
