Page 82 of Rise of the Melody
After a long, long pause of silence, I grunted and stood. “Look, I’m tired. If you don’t want your dad to see you, you should go because I’m about to send up this flare.”
He faced me, and having his full attention like that sent a thrill into my belly that made me feel wobbly.
“What do you know about the fae?” he asked.
“I mean….” I thought about it. “From the stories I remember my aunt telling me, they’re beautiful but cruel. They would use their attractiveness to lure humans and use them.”
“Use them in what ways?” he pushed.
“I…don’t really know.” But I kind of did. All sorts of horrid things suddenly flashed through my mind.
I watched his jaw tense as he grinded his teeth and gave a nod. His eyes darted to the water as he continued.
“I was surrounded by them from the age of five until I was fifteen. Ten years. As you say, used by them.”
My stomach went sour, and I placed a palm over my belly. I shook my head, having no idea what to say or ask after that. I didn’t need to say anything, though, because to my surprise he kept going.
“Shortly after arriving in H’trae, my mother took me to a gate guard and pleaded with him. I remember he had tusks. She spoke to him as if he were a human with empathy, begging him to get me out of the prison and into the wilds of Elphame to Queen Nicneven. He agreed. I still remember the way he looked at me. My mother, she was so happy, so hopeful, but I knew. I saw greed there. I screamed as I left her arms. She covered her face. I think she knew too. He took me and he sold me to one of the princesses in the high court.”
“Oh, my gods,” I whispered, covering my mouth. I was shocked when he kept going. It was if he’d cut himself and the words bled out against his will. He began to pace as I stood there motionless, listening.
“I cried a lot as a child. But did you know faeries never cry? I dinnae think they have tear ducts. They’re fascinated by human tears. The first time I cried, I still remember. I was starving. The princess asked what I wanted to eat. All I could think of was the blueberry pancakes from Shehan Diner. I asked for blueberry pancakes, even said ‘please,’ and she told me yes, of course sweetling…then brought out pancakes with whole bugs sticking out.” He scoffed. “How I cried.”
I shivered and tried not to react, scared to stop him from talking, but it was like I wasn’t there. He was in the zone.
“For years they found creative ways to make me shed tears. Casting spells to make me dance until my feet bled. Pinching me. Letting creatures of the wilds chase me around a ring. I finally realized the only way to stop them was to control myself and refuse to cry. Eventually, they bored of trying and found other uses for me. Namely when I hit puberty.”
Oh, gods. I felt ill. I clamped my lips together as my own tear ducts burned.
“So, nay…I dinnae prefer to be touched.” His eyes hit mine and I blinked, causing tears to cascade down my cheeks. At his glower, I quickly lowered my head and wiped them, more to spare him than out of embarrassment.
“It’s a weakness, those tears.” He seethed from within, but I looked into his face and shook my head.
“No, it’s not. You did what you had to do there, but crying is not a human weakness. People need to be able to release emotions. It’s healthy.”
“I’m scarcely human anymore.” He said it in such a low voice that I struggled to hear it. My heart broke for him in that moment. I couldn’t possibly imagine what he’d gone through. What they’d done to him. Were our moms and my dad being tortured in those ways all this time? Or were they safe from the cruelty of court fairies in H’trae?
I bent and grasped my knees, breathing through the mountain of emotions, then stood to face him again.
“How did you get out, Zar? How did you escape them?”
He was quiet. His jaw rocked. “You’re puggled.”
“What?” I asked.
“Erm….” He ran a hand through his hair. “Tired.”
“Oh.” I let out a nervous laugh. “No, I can keep talking.”
He shook his head. “Light your flare and go home.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and took a step back.
“Wait, Zar?—”
“I’ve said enough,” he barked, silencing me. Our eyes locked and his Adam’s apple bobbed with a swallow. I watched as he turned from me and walked back into the tree line. An emptiness filled me as he went, the shock of his story still slithering through me. I watched until I couldn’t see him anymore, and then I raised the flare gun high, squeezed my eyes shut, and pulled the trigger.
Chapter25
Blueberry Pancakes
