Page 74 of Sparks
Thankfully I was alone when Shawn called.
I tried to keep all emotion out of my voice when I answered, but I sounded exactly how I felt.
“Harlow,” he said, like the start of a poem. I sucked in a breath.
“Are you okay?” I whispered.
“Honestly? This has been the worst day of my life. And I’ve had some pretty shitty days in war zones.”
My heart felt crushed by bricks. “How did she find out?”
“A while back we both downloaded this app where we could talk internationally, but it also has a tracking function to can see where your loved one is. We never really used the app and I forgot all about it. So, she saw that I’d stayed overnight in Jersey and dug up the cellular records online since we share a family account. There’s about a thousand texts and calls between us.”
“Oh, no.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m so sorry. You were blindsided.”
“Yeah.” His voice was thick. “It’s not your fault. It’s all mine.” I’d never heard him sound like this. Like he was scared. And it made me scared too.
“She said you never broke up.”
“No. She was in denial.”
I forced myself to ask, even though bile had risen high in my throat. “What’s going to happen?” This would make the break up far more complicated, which sucked for him, because now she knew we’d been talking while they were together.
Long pause. Too long. “I’ve been given permission to make one last call to you.”
His words echoed like a gong in my head, making me dizzy.One last call? Given fucking permission?
“What?” It felt as if he’d smacked me. “Shawn.”
He cleared his throat, his words coming out slow like mild croaking. “We are getting married this Saturday at the justice of the peace, and they’re moving with me to Japan.”
No. Nope. I pressed a hand to my mouth.
“I’ll get to be with Bennett.” In that sentence was the whole truth. His whole joy. The thing that mattered most. “Every day, Harlow. I’ll be there when he wakes up and goes to sleep. Every day.”
I continued to cover my mouth, trembling, in shock. The door to the bedroom opened and Willa stopped in her tracks. I gave a shake of my head and she backed out, closing the door.
I swallowed hard. “That’s wonderful.” My voice rasped. “I mean that. But two days ago you were positive she didn’t love you anymore. You agreed to break things off. Now you’re getting married? That’s a big leap, Shawn.”
“I know.” God, he sounded so beaten. “I know it doesn’t make sense. But when she found out about you it’s like…her eyes were opened. She wants to make it work.”
Panic was rising up in me like a geyser. This was the worst-case scenario.
“Yes, but she’s been so adamant about not wanting to move away from Charlotte. What if she gets over there and is miserable? She’s going to take it out on you. And the fact that you came here and were with me? She’ll spend your whole marriage punishing you for it!”
“You might be right.” His voice was resolute. “But the fact that she wants to try is huge. If I refuse, I’m afraid I’ll always wonder. If I don’t give this a real shot I might always regret it.”
“Oh, my God.” This was really happening. A sob escaped me then and I raised my phone to muffle the sounds.
“Please don’t cry, Harlow, please,” he pleaded. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I’m so fucking sorry. I swear to God, I never meant to hurt you. I meant everything I said. The connection is real. I wish I would have met you first.”
“I have to go.” I was about to lose my shit.
“Please don’t hate me. I can’t handle it if you hate me.”
God above. This man who’d faced death in a warzone had been fucking neutered by a woman. “I don’t understand how you can make plans with me one day and go back to her the next. You were just with me. It’s like it meant nothing!”
“I know. And I hate that I hurt you. I will never forgive myself for that. It did mean something to me—all of it—especially last night. I meant it when I said you’re a good piece of gear. And if this doesn’t work out, I’m telling you right now Harlow Robinson…I’m coming for you.”
