Page 91 of Kiss Collector
“Wy—”
“Please!I can’t live without you anymore. I don’t want to. I’m no good without you. I’ll die—”
“Don’t say that.” Anger flares inside me, and I push his hands away. “Don’t try to manipulate me. It’s not fair, and it’s bullshit. You were screwed up when we were together. I can’t make you good, Wylie. Only you can do that.”
“I need you,” he whispers, like he’s begging for a life raft. But Wylie’s going to have to learn to swim on his own.
I look at his lost eyes, and realize that was me for months. Lost. And I don’t want that to be me anymore. A solid sense of clarity breaks me out of a too-long stupor, shoving me into reality and the life choice that I’m facing.
Suddenly I declare in a rush, “I’m spending my senior year overseas.”
Shock hits his eyes like a blast of wind, and I feel as if my own breath has been sucked from my lungs. In that moment, I feel kind of faint. I’ve been indecisive, but as the words come out, as terrifying as they are, they are... perfect.
“What?” he whispers.
My voice quavers. “I’ll be busy this summer taking classes to get all the credits I need. Then I’m going to Argentinaand France for language studies.”
I’m going to Argentina and France.
I see the moment he loses hope, and it’s like it transfers to me instead, blooming with fragrant life. But not just hope. It’s a lightness I’ve never felt. Like all my worries are suddenly gone and in their place is new possibility, new chances that brighten the shadows inside me and fill me with blinding purpose.
I’m going to travel! I’m going to see the world and experience languages with native speakers! I cover my mouth as an ecstatic, disbelieving smile comes to me.
“That’s... amazing,” Wylie says, shaking his head. “It is. Wow. I mean, I guess I’m not surprised.You’reamazing.”
I swallow hard and whisper, “Thank you.”
And then we’re quiet as he shoves his hands in his pockets and we look at the ground. What’s left to say? He is my past, and we’re headed in different directions. But I’ll still always care about him.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “For what it’s worth.” He grasps the back of his neck.
“Me, too,” I whisper.
When he moves forward to hug me, I let him, breathing in his familiar scent. We hold each other for a minute and then I give him a goodbye smile.
“Good luck, Wy. I really think you can do whatever you put your mind to. You are your parents’ son.”
I turn, clutching my tiny purse in both hands and feeling more steady on my heels than I have all night. I can’t stop smiling as I ascend the stairs and let myself in. Zeb is asleep onthe couch—it’s past midnight—and he barely stirs. I stare at his peaceful form. I know my brother is going to grow up a lot while I’m gone. I won’t be here to stick up for him or just hang out with him. That thought is like a rock in my gut, but at the same time, I know he’ll be okay. I’ll make him keep in touch with me. I won’t forget my baby brother.
I kick off my heels against the wall and pad quietly to Mom’s room. Her door is open a crack, but I can see the light of her phone where she’s playing a game on it. She sits up and flicks on the lamp when I open the door.
“How was it?” She pats the bed and I sit beside her.
“It was good. You should be aware that your daughter is officially a princess.”
Mom squeezes me in a hug and laughs. “I already knew that. Congratulations on making it official, though.”
“Hey, Mom?”
“Yeah?” She pushes a stray curl from my forehead.
“I want to do the international program.”
Her hand falls heavily to her lap, and she gets a faraway look in her eye.
“Of course you do,” she whispers and takes my hand. “And it’s only the start for you, baby.”
Chapter Thirty-One
