Page 71 of Kiss Collector
“Please!” I beg.
“No.” Her voice is firm, and my defenses spike.
“You don’t understand!”
“I understand more than you know.” She stands, giving me a pain-filled glare, then leaves me, closing the door hard behind herself.
I collapse face-first like a corpse on my bed until I hear a low sound coming from Mom’s room. I get up and press my ear to the wall. When I recognize the muffled sounds of her crying, my insides feel like they’re being pressed in a waffle iron. I snatch up my earbuds and shove them into my ears, blasting the music as loud as I can handle it.
It hits me then that I won the spring break kissing contest. I kissed five guys, Lin and Monica kissed four, and Kenzie kissed two. But I don’t feel like I won anything. I most definitely feel like I lost. And now it’s over. I’m done.
Back to School
End of Junior Year
Chapter Twenty-Four
Before school the next morning I get a text from Lin:My mom will take M & me 2 school on her way to work. Thnx
K, I tell her. I knew that was coming, but it still hurts.
I pick up Kenzie and she makes small talk as I drive, trying to act like everything is fine, but my stomach is in a tight double knot when we pull into the student parking lot.
I linger at my locker as long as possible, spotting Lin and Monica as they pass on the other side of the hall, not looking my way. I feel heavy all over again as I trudge to math. I thought it was bad when I came to school without a boyfriend anymore. Coming to school without two of my friends at my side feels like I’m limping along without an arm and a leg. I don’t know how to live this way.
And when Kenzie leaves my side after class, I feel morealone than ever. I keep my head down as I walk to my locker to switch books.
“Hey, Zae.” I turn toward Taro’s voice. His locker is a few down from mine. He tilts his head, giving me a glimpse of both eyes through his hair. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I force myself to say. He wasn’t at Quinton’s party. Maybe he doesn’t know about what a fool I made of myself. “You?”
“Good,” he says.
We walk side by side to English, and I feel overly grateful not to be alone, even though we don’t say a word.
We slink into English class, and I swear every single person is staring at me. I catch the intense gazes of Joel, Dean, Angelo, Flynn, Elliott...everyone, before I drop my eyes and slide into my desk, heart pounding.
When Mrs. Warfield calls on me to read a passage from the book halfway through class, I know she’s disappointed that I don’t use my usual clear, loud, animated voice. She gives me a funny look afterward, and I keep my head down the rest of class. When the bell rings, I bolt.
If I can just make it through this day, tomorrow will be better.
I meet Kenzie outside her AP English class and we walk to our lockers. When we turn the corner to the locker bay, Kenzie gasps, and I look up. Eight freshmen and sophomore JV baseball players are sitting on top of the lockers in a row. Every year the varsity team hazes them, making them do crazy things. What are they up to this year? When they catch sight of us, they each hold up a sign.
KENZIE WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH VINCENT?
She covers her mouth with a squeak, and a soft smile lifts my cheeks. Holy sweetness. Like, so sweet I’m about to get cavities. Vincent is standing in front of her locker holding a rose, looking bashful, and she runs, plowing into him with a hug. Then she looks up and nods, and everyone cheers.
“Get down from there!” a teacher yells, and the JV players hop down, running off.
I give my beaming friend a smile from my locker as I switch out my huge English book for French III. I don’t want to go over and ruin their moment, so I shut my locker and head to my next class, keeping my eyes locked on the ground.
I can’t believe it’s almost prom time. Am I going? I have no desire.Ugh. Just another freaking thing to add to my plate of stress with a side of sadness.
As soon as I walk into French, Mrs. Hartt pulls me aside. She’s also our cheer coach.
“I’m guessing you’ve heard about the roundoff back handspring?”
“Yeah.” I glance away nervously.
