Page 18 of Kiss Collector
Abuzz of excitement fills the air at Peakton, knowing we have the next week off from school, but I can’t bring myself to fully share the enthusiasm. Tomorrow I’m moving from the house I love. The only house I’ve ever known. And why? Because my parents, who Iknowlove each other, cannot get their shiz together and make up.
I check in at the office and race to Spanish, skidding in right before the bell. I’m actually kind of excited for my presentation. Nerd alert.
As I begin presenting my project, Mrs. Hernandez watches me with her head cocked, a look of proud wonder on her face that she often reserves for me. Over the years, she’s given me more compliments and one-on-one time than any other teacher.
I’m so tuned in to my project that my three minutes fly by. The smile on my face feels foreign when everyone claps.
Mrs. Hernandez waves me over, and I notice for the first time there’s someone standing at her desk. It’s that Joel guy from English, the possible drug dealer who sleeps through class. I vaguely remember him coming in during my presentation.
“Zae, ¡excelente!” Mrs. Hernandez says. “And now you are being called to the guidance department.”
I look at Joel with the pass in his hand. Wow, he’s actually awake, and his hood is back. He’s got light-brown, almost blond, buzzed hair and small onyx earrings. He doesn’t look at me, just turns to go, and I follow.
He doesn’t talk as we walk, and normally I’d fill the silence, but when I left my Spanish room, the gloom descended on me again, so I stay quiet. He leads me to the guidance wing, to Mrs. Crowley’s room, and leaves me.
The older woman smiles and pulls off her glasses. “Ah, Zae Monroe, come in.”
She motions to the seat across from her desk, so I sit. A dramatic pause happens while she looks at me, and my eyes wander to the motivational posters on her walls.
Walk the Talk.
Dare to Soar.
“Your mom called and explained everything that’s going on at home.” Oh, great. Her voice is calm and soothing, but I am not soothed. I’m immediately uneasy. She pauses like she’s expecting a reaction, so I give a stiff nod.
“No matter how common divorce is, it’s never easy—”
“They’re not divorcing,” I quickly say. “Just, like, a temporary separation.”
I know how naïve I sound. And I see the pity in her eyes, like I’m a being a fool, which makes me want to scream and bolt from her presence.
“Well, you never know,” she says. “These things are delicate, and difficult on everyone involved. Is there anything you’d like to talk about, Zae?”
“No.” I should have probably pretended to think about it instead of blurting out my response, because she gives me that pitying look again and I want to rail. Then I make things worse with the most famous lie in history: “Everything is fine.”
She lets out a thoughtful hum. I wonder what her face would look like if I brought my fists down and pounded on her desk.
“Sometimes when things are hard, I find it’s best to look ahead. To plan. To keep my mind busy. What are your plans after high school? Will you be applying to colleges this fall? If so, perhaps you can begin looking now. Researching. Filling out paperwork. It could be therapeutic.”
Uuuugh. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I know that’s crazy since it’s the end of my junior year, but it’s one of those questions that makes me really anxious. Kenzie wants to go to James Madison, like her mom, to become a biology teacher. Lin already has a stack of applications for places she can study business and finance. Monica is big into marketing, publicity, and communications. They’re all so sure of themselves. College bound.
The only things that interest me are languages, so when people ask what I want to be, I say a Spanish teacher so they’ll leave me alone about it. But I really don’t love the idea of standing in front of a classroom every day. In fact, I want high school to be the end of my classroom days, even as a student. I’ve never told anyone that. Am I a total loser for not wanting to go to college?
I want to travel and learn even more languages. I’ve looked into being a professional translator, but most places are looking for advanced degrees for certification. I thought about being a travel YouTuber, showing people the world and other cultures through interaction, but that obviously takes money to start up. I keep telling myself I have time to figure it out, but it’s moments like this that I feel the walls closing in.
“Okay, yeah. Thanks. I’ll do that.” I force a smile and her eyes narrow like she’s consulting her inner lie detector.
I must pass because she says, “Please come to me any time if you need to talk.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Look at my manners.
I stand and head for the door before she can say anything else. When I get outside, Joel is sitting in a chair with his hood up, head leaning against the wall, eyes closed. I walk past and barely hear when he says, “Nice presentation.”
I turn in surprise. He’s not even looking at me—his eyes are still closed.
“Me?” I ask dumbly.
He grins and cracks one eye open.“Sí.”Ah, he’s talking about my Spanish class.
