Page 58 of Hayes
I wait for her reaction, for her disgust to appear. But her face is just as determined as ever.
“I’m their whore, the man they send out to seduce and fuck others to get revenge, to get secrets. And I do it because I’m good at it. That’s my role. I never fail at seducing a woman, and it’s all I’m good at.”
She shakes her head. “You’re not a whore. And you are more than a good lay, so much more.”
“Maybe, but that’s why they won’t kill me. That’s why they took me back after I betrayed them with Lennox. That’s why I’m Titus’s number two. I’m their secret weapon who can fuck his way into getting information instead of having to steal it or go to war over it.” My voice drips in shame.
“When…when did this start?”
“It’s been this way for as long as I can remember.”
“Before initiation age?”
“Yes,” I cringe.
She grinds her teeth together, her hands fisting as she pounds into the bed in anger. Then she studies me closely. “Despite all they’ve done to you, it’s not the reason you plot revenge with Gage, is it?”
“No, it’s not the reason.”
“Even though it’s reason enough.” She shakes her head. “You’re so selfless, sunshine. You’re a beautiful, kind, selfless man. That’s why every woman you fuck falls for you, trusts you, and spills her secrets to you. Women can’t help falling in love with you.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s because of my cock.”
She rolls her eyes playfully before a serious expression falls across her face. “Then how did I fall in love with you before I tasted it?”
Chapter 24
Lilith
Hayes sucks in a breath, like I just stabbed him instead of telling him I love him. I’m not sure if he thinks he’s that unlovable or that me loving him will risk my life further.
“I love you, Hayes,” I say, my voice full of emotion.
“How?” he whispers and clears his throat. “You shouldn’t have fallen in love with me. You—”
I grab his face and kiss him hard, washing away any feelings of doubt on his part. The kiss is hungry and needy. Our tongues lash against each other, and the towels clinging to our bodies begin to slip as we roll toward each other.
Everything else fades away except him. For once, my mind isn’t on revenge. It isn’t on protecting my family. It isn’t on anything but him.
For once, I’m not cursing every event in my life that I went through, because maybe it was leading me to him. Maybe the universe had some far bigger plan than I could have ever imagined. Maybe it was all leading to this moment, to finding this broken man. Between his brokenness and mine, we somehow might make a whole.
I have hope for the first time in forever that I can have a future worth living. Not one for my family, but for me.
He breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against mine as his thumb strokes my cheek, and his fingers grip my neck. We both pant hard into each other’s mouths. We toy with the idea of taking everything from each other and giving nothing back. Damn, the consequences.
“Lilith, I have to tell you—”
“No,” I stop him. “I don’t care about anything you’ve done in the past. If you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to explode in frustration. The edging the Retribution Kings had you do to me is nothing compared to how I’ll feel now if you deny me. The only thing that will damper this need is if you tell me you don’t want to fuck me. That you need space after what happened tonight.”
“God, no. I need you as badly as you need me. I’m going to die if I don’t make you mine, but—”
“Then have me. I don’t care what punishments we face. I don’t care about the consequences. This isn’t about anyone but us. Fuck me until we pass out from exhaustion. And then, when we wake, we can make plans for our future. Tonight, just make love to me.”
My hooded eyes meet his ravenous ones. “Our future. I like the sound of that,” he says.
He exhales slowly, his breath hot on my lips. “Forgive me,” he whispers so softly I’m not even sure I heard him. There is nothing he needs my forgiveness for, though.
I’m begging for this.
