Page 12 of Rex
As I walk into the nursery, I can’t help but smile at the scene in front of me. Dre is sitting in the chair next to the crib watching his little darling sleep with a serene smile on his face. He looks so happy as he watches her. I hope when he learns the truth about her that he stays that way. The truth isn’t exactly all sunshine and rainbows.
“Dre.” I whisper, not wanting to talk loudly and disturb the sleeping little girl.
Dre turns to look at me, a smile still on his handsome face. His eyes remind me so much of Wreck’s, being the exact same shade of green. There’s one difference, though: there’s a softness in his gaze that isn’t present in his brother’s eyes. Somehow, despite what Dre has been through recently, he’s managed to keep that quality alive, and I’m here for it. I’d hate it if everythinghe’s been through had broken that part of him. It’s a quality that makes him so fucking special.
“Hey Rex. Did you get some answers?” He asks as he stands and starts walking towards me.
“Yeah, do you want to go into the room next door where we can talk without worrying about waking up the little one?”
“That’s probably for the best. Come on. I’m dying to know everything you’ve learned.” He says as he grabs my hand and starts dragging me out of the nursery.
His hand fits in mine perfectly. It’s not the first time I’ve noticed that either. I realized it earlier when we were downstairs. I don’t want to let go of him when we enter the room next door to the nursery, so I don’t. I keep hold of his hand as we both take seats on the edge of the double bed that’s the only piece of furniture in the room.
“We got a lot of information out of them, but I know the thing that matters most to you is anything to do with your little darling.” I start, pausing to give him a chance to speak. He doesn’t; he just nods his head in agreement, so I continue. “You were never told her name because she doesn’t have one. Her birth mother never named her. She didn’t really care, from what I could gather from what Beau said. She was a junky who found herself pregnant; she had zero interest in being a mother. All she cared about was where her next fix would come from. She made a deal with Beau and Annmarie. She’d stay clean throughout the pregnancy, and once she gave birth, they’d take the baby. In return she’d be supplied with drugs on a regular basis. That turned out to be a life-ending decision. She died from a drug overdose a week after she gave birth.”
When I look over at Dre to see how he’s taken the news, I feel for him. He has such a big heart, and he’s taken the news of his little darling’s origins hard. Tears are streaking down his face; that smile I loved seeing moments ago is nowhere in sight.He’s devastated, and I know it’s because of how much he cares and loves that little girl. I don’t say anything else. I know there is nothing I could say at this moment to make any of this better. All I can do is comfort him. Releasing his hand, I put my arm over his shoulder, pulling him into a side hug. Just holding his hand isn’t enough. I need to hold him. To give him the comfort he so desperately needs as he comes to terms with what I’ve told him.
Dre takes me by surprise when he throws his leg over my lap and straddles me. Wrapping his arms tightly around me and burying his face into my neck as he continues to cry. My arms immediately come around him, holding him tightly to me as I offer him a safe space to release his emotions.
I shouldn’t be holding him like this; it’s far too intimate, and I know he’s going to regret it later when he learns about what I did to Wreck, but I can’t seem to make myself push him away. I don’t want to. I want him here in my lap, where he seems to fit just perfectly against me. I want to have at least one memory of holding him close like this for after everything blows up. For once in my life I’m choosing to be selfish.
Time means nothing as I hold Dre while he wrestles with his emotions. I couldn’t for the life of me tell anyone how long I sit here holding him. All I know is that by the time his tears have dried up, my top is soaked and my ass has gone slightly numb from sitting in the same position for so long without moving. It’s all worth it though. When Dre pulls his face out of my neck, he looks a lot lighter. Like a good cry did him a world of good.
His eyes may be bloodshot and red-rimmed from crying for so long, but I can’t help but think he’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid eyes on. He’s so fucking real. He has a massive heart and isn’t ashamed of letting his feelings out. For feeling everything so strongly. It’s a rarity to meet someone so fucking authentic.
“Sorry about that.” He says as he wipes away the stray tears on his face.
He goes to slide off my lap, but that’s the last thing I want. I’m not ready to let him go yet. To end this moment. Not when I know it’s the only one I’m going to get.
“Stay.” I tell him softly. The small smile that accompanies his head nod tells me he doesn’t want to be moving yet either.
“What’s going to happen to her now that we know she has no family?” Dre asks worriedly.
“That’s entirely up to you. If you want to officially make her your daughter, I can make that happen. If not, I can arrange to find her a loving home.”
“She can really stay with me?” He asks, bottom lip trembling.
“Yes. You love that little girl with your whole heart, Dre. That was clear to me the first time I saw you holding her. I doubt there’s anyone who could love her as much as you.”
“I want her to stay with me. In my head I’ve always tried to keep a distance, not knowing where she came from and if she had family out there missing her, but in my heart. She’s always been mine.”
“What’s her name? I have a feeling you’ve had one in mind for her all along, even if you haven’t spoken it out loud or acknowledged it much in your own mind.”
“The first time I laid eyes on her, I knew what I wanted to name her, but I haven’t thought about it since then. It wasn’t my place.”
“It’s your place now. Come on, Dre, tell me your daughter’s name.”
“Imogen. Immy for short.”
“I think that’s perfect. She’s so lucky to have a Dad like you.”
“Thank you for saying that.” He says, resting his head on my shoulder.
“You’re welcome, but I’m only speaking the truth. I should probably let you get some sleep. You’ve had one hell of a day. You’ve got to be exhausted.”
“I don’t think I could sleep yet. My mind is still going a mile a minute. I don’t suppose you’d tell me how Wreck and Shadow finally figured their shit out? I need something to take my mind off what massive pieces of shit Beau and Annmarie are.”
I swallow hard. This is it. This is the moment whatever this connection between Dre and I breaks. Or at least it will from his side. He’s never going to look at me the same again. I know I’m going to have to release my hold on him for this story. I can’t take looking into his eyes as I tell him. Watching the hatred overtake him.
