Page 163 of Caught in the Crossfire
He didn’t argue. He scowled at the skyline instead.
“You could have had everything,” I said. “She could have been yours.”
I couldn’t even say I was mad he rejected her. I probably never would have had the chance to hold her, love her, cherish her, had he not made hismistakes.
But I’d never been able to wrap my head around why.
“Why didn’t you take the chance when you had it?” I had stood in the great hall of the Vero mansion, watching Leona dance at her birthday party, and wondered a very similar question.
“I don’t love her. I never did.”
Fifteen years of friendship, and I still couldn’t tell if that was the truth or not. “You’re a fucking liar.”
“It would have ended in ruin and rot.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do, Cas,” he answered, looking down at his open palm. His fingers curled in on themselves. “I’m sorry for what you’ve both been through, but I’m not sorry for what I had to do.”
“I don’t forgive you,” I said, facing the city again. “I will never forgive you for the pain you’ve caused her.”
“Not for the pain I’ve caused you?”
“I don’t give a fuck about me, and you know it. But her?” Ishook my head. “She is the star that lights the night sky. She is my reason for breathing; she always has been.”
“I could tell how you felt from the moment we met. It was obvious every time you looked at her face. Every time you watched her from across the room. You were always meant to be with her, Cas.”
“Bullshit.”
He looked at me. “What?”
I glared. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. You ran. You hid, and you lied. Don’t blame your choices and their consequences on some bullshit platitude like I was ‘meant to be with her’ in your stead.”
“I don’t?—”
“Of course, Iammeant to be with her,” I conceded before glancing at him sideways. “But you could have been, too.”
His jaw clenched. “She will kill me. She’s promised me time and time again.”
She had promised him again tonight at the same time she sighed while his fingers brushed through her hair. When it came down to it…would she?
If I had the opportunity, would I?
“And you’ll let her?” I asked with a frown. “You’ll just roll over and die?”
“If all goes according to plan, yes,” he whispered.
My eyes went wide. What the hell didthatmean?
Hisplanwas to die?
“Then why haven’t you just given up? Why force us through these hurdles and play this twisted game? You could have left us alone months ago. You could have let her be the solution to your problems.”
“It has to be this way.”
I gaped. “What the fuck does that mean?”
He dropped his face into his hands and scrubbed. “It doesn’t matter.”
