Page 177 of Only Fools Rush
49
LEONA
“Darling.” Wynn walked up behind me. Anxiety had pooled low in my stomach when I thought about facing them, talking to the boys. Willow, Fallon, and Zoya had helped immensely. Talking with Obi had helped.
Still, a sliver of me wanted to run away and hide until everything blew over. Or I wanted to pretend nothing had happened at all.
But that was impossible. We had to get past this if the six of us were going to be a team.
“Yeah?”
He stepped closer. “Can I…can I touch you?”
Without turning, I gave a curt nod. His arms wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me flush against his chest. I relaxed into his embrace as some of the tension bled from my body. He’d always felt like home.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured in my ear. “I should have told you.”
“Yeah, you should have,” I replied, but my fingers folded over his.
“I was scared.” He sighed. “I was afraid it would change things between the rest of us. I didn’t want to lose you.”
“I’m scared, too, Wynn,” I admitted. “I’ve been terrified you’re all going to see me as a fraud—a worthless little girl playing a dangerous game she has no business being part of. When everything came out…I guess it just confirmed what I’d been afraid of the whole time.”
That’s how I’d been treated my entire life. For a while, I thought not letting me into the bad parts of our world wasprotection. But now I could see that my father and Max and every other man in this criminal world had never believed I was worth anything other than a marriage.
That was why our syndicate needed to be different. To change things, make a better future for women like Zoya.
“The guys want to talk,” he said after a brief pause. His arms tightened around me as he rested his chin on my shoulder. “Will you come listen?”
I turned my head so our cheeks brushed. “Yes.”
His eyes flicked to my lips, but instead of kissing me, he pulled away, and grabbed my hand. “Come.”
I let him pull me to the living room, where all the guys sat together on the massive couch, looking as nervous as I felt. Wynn urged me to sit in between him and Ciel.
Awkward silence stretched until Ciel cleared his throat. “Cas. Go.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and waited. It reminded me of that night when I’d stood in front of all of them, in the same spot, wringing my hands as he did, and asked them to form an alliance with me. Now, the five of them were trying to save it while I watched from the couch.
Cas stood. “Leona, last night, the five of us talked, and we all agreed on what we wanted to say to you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I want to hear whatyouhave to say, Cas.”
“I’m so fucking sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I never should have hidden that Giulio and the men were expecting us to get engaged. He told me the first time we met, and I brushed it off. But the more I talked to him, the more it became clear the men wouldn’t even see us unless they thought it was a possibility.”
I clenched my hands at my sides. “That’s awesome.”
“I should have told you so we could have faced it together.”
Heat clawed up my neck. “Why didn’t you?”
“I was afraid you’d say yes only to secure the men. That you didn’t want to marry me, but you’d feel forced.” He cleared his throat. “I thought I was protecting you, but I was just protecting myself. I never should have doubted that I would be included in whatever your choice would be.”
I pressed my lips together as I struggled to hold in my emotion. If I was presented with that choice beforehand, what would I have said? Would I have felt pressured?
Definitely. At least a little.
Maybe I would have said yes for the wrong reasons. Maybe he was right. But it didn’t matter now. What’s done was done.
