Page 110 of Only Fools Rush
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. “Me too. I feel like I can finally breathe again.”
She laid her head on my arm and snuggled against my chest, humming softly while drawing those lazy circles on my chest. It was the perfect time to bring up what Giulio said, but I had zero desire to interrupt the peace. Just when I started to doze off, warm, and content with her finally in my arms, her quiet voice broke the silence.
“I never feel safer than I do in your arms, Cas.”
I could see the “but” coming from a million miles away. I braced myself. “Yeah?”
“But I also have to step into this role,” she continued. I tightened my grip around her. “I can’t hide away when things get messy. I have to prove I’m capable. I have to be at the front of it.”
“No, you don’t,” I replied. “That’s what you have me for.”
I had been her bodyguard for eight years; her best friend for longer. She had me to stand between her and the messy parts of the world. That was my job, not only as her bodyguard but also as her boyfriend…lover? Whatever the fuck. I was supposed to protect her.
“Cas.” She lifted her head off my chest so she could stare at me. “I know you will always protect me, but this is the same argument we’ve had a million times. I will never be strong if you protect me from everything.”
I clamped my eyes shut. “I can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt.”
Her bruises were still purple and swollen. What happened when she got hurt worse than bruises? What happened when she got shot? Stabbed?
She could still be a Donna,aRegina, without putting herself in harm’s way. God knows the Dons did the same. Most of them hadn’t been in a firefight since they were young men. That’s why they hadcapos, armies, men to do the fighting for them.
“I’m not a child anymore,” she said. “I am a grown woman. I have to show the world thatIhave the power to be the person who I want to be. Kofler betrayed me because I am a woman, and I’m a risk. I have to show them Leona Vero is a force to be reckoned with.”
I gripped her chin between my thumb and finger, tilting her head up to look me in the eyes. “You have always been a woman in my eyes. But you are the woman I love most in the world. That means it’s my job to keep you out of harm’s way. I will gladly do the dirty work so you can be safe.”
And the thought of Ryuji pushing her to fucking kill someonestillpissed me off. Self-defense was one thing. I wanted her to be strong enough to defend herself. But cold-blooded murder? That wasn’t her. She was too good for that. She didn’t need that weight on her conscious.
Ryuji was a stain. A risk to her safety.
“You can’t protect me from the underworld,amore mio,” she whispered. “Not if I’m truly going to be part of it. As a woman, I need to command even more respect. I can’t be seen as someone who hides behind her men. Please, try to understand that.”
I searched her face, feeling torn.
Shewasgetting strong. I’d seen that with my own eyes. But she was also the princess I had sworn my life to protect. How was I supposed to reconcile those two things?
Ilovedthe idea of Leona becoming powerful—but I did not love the idea of blood on her hands when I could let that bloodcover mine instead. We could demonstrate she deserved respect without putting her in harm’s way. What else were we all here for, if not that?
Maybe it would be easier to marry her. Get them all on our side first, and then she could show them thatshewas the true leader over time.
I opened my mouth to bring it up, but the words died on my lips. She would never want that. She’d reject the whole thing, rejectme, on principle.
I kissed her. “Go to sleep, princess.”
She exhaled heavily, but rested her head on my chest. “Love you.”
“Sempre e per sempre.”
By the time I fell asleep, I still hadn’t decided the right thing to do.
32
CASPIAN
My phone vibrating on the nightstand drew me from a warm and contented sleep. Leona’s head rested on my chest, my arm wrapped around her. Her shallow hot breaths tickled my bare skin. I drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, eyes closed, already drifting back to sleep.
Leona. In my arms.
My wife.
